Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are four diffarent sectors of economi of us thouse are healtcare, retail , manufacturing & agriculture. lets have a clear look that the graphs demonstrate that the number of jobs back in 1960 is 15 million in manufacturing industry's. the argriculture and retail was a bit lower which was 6 million. The lowest jobs among the 4 diffarent sector was healtcare! which was only 2.5 million. After 20 years in 1980 here we can see all the sectors hade been flactuated a bit. the agriculture was go towards down stair and other 3 was incriced.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping short at only 96 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally. While the writer attempts to select some main features from the graph, such as the 1960 figures for manufacturing, agriculture, and retail, the coverage is partial and lacks an overall summary of the trends. The data points reported also contain inaccuracies, such as stating that healthcare was 2.5 million in 1960 when the graph indicates it was around 2 million. To improve, the writer must write at least 150 words and provide a clear overview of the main trends across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Information and ideas are not arranged in a fully coherent manner. The opening features an informal conversational style with phrases like 'lets have a clear look', and the text lacks standard paragraphing, being presented as a single short block. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes awkward, such as 'After 20 years in 1980 here we can see', which creates a disjointed flow. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to group ideas into logical paragraphs, use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly, and adopt an appropriate academic tone throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous spelling and word-form errors that strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'diffarent', 'economi', 'us', 'thouse', 'healtcare', 'industry's', 'argriculture', 'flactuated', and 'incriced'. These issues reflect a very limited control over lexical items and word formation. To improve, the writer must expand their vocabulary, learn the correct spelling of common economic and descriptive terms, and avoid informal or conversational phrasing in an academic task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of basic structures, and errors are frequent throughout the text, often distorting meaning. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing such as 'the number of jobs back in 1960 is 15 million', 'the agriculture and retail was a bit lower', and 'the agriculture was go towards down stair and other 3 was incriced'. Punctuation and article usage are also weak. To progress, the writer needs to practise forming accurate simple and complex sentences, control verb tenses for past data, and improve basic grammatical accuracy.

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