Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the US, the highest jobs were in manufacturing industry. Later the jobs were dopped and the retail jobs were increased in that time. In the US both the jobs were high in demand the graph shows they were exactly follows each others. The healthcare jobs also high in demand theat time the graph showing intialy the helthcare jobs are low in demand but after some years it has increased. The graph showing the agricuture jobs are low in demand intialy it has low in demand after years it was going to low year by year. However by the 2020 the agriculture jobs goes at the loowest of all the time from the 1960 to 2020. The graph shwoing that intialy manufacturing has peaked and then increased years and years. Reatils jobs intialy were low in demand however after many years it has climb up and matched with the manufacturing jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 3.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response makes an attempt to present the main features of the graph, noting that manufacturing started high and agriculture was low, while retail and healthcare increased over time. However, the information is presented in a very limited and repetitive way without a clear overview, and several statements misinterpret the visual data, such as claiming that retail and manufacturing 'exactly follows each others.' The information is insufficiently developed, and the absence of a proper introductory summary and logical grouping keeps the response at a minimal level of achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5
The essay lacks overall paragraphing, consisting of a single block of text where sentences follow one another without a clear logical structure or progression. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or misused, such as repetitive use of 'the graph showing' and vague transitions like 'Later', 'after many years', and 'However by the 2020'. There is no clear framework guiding the reader through the data, making it difficult to follow the progression of information across the given time period.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
Vocabulary use is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple phrases such as 'high in demand', 'low in demand', and 'jobs'. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'dopped' for dropped, 'intialy' initially, 'helthcare', 'agricuture', 'loowest', and 'Reatils'. These lexical limitations and frequent spelling inaccuracies reflect a basic vocabulary range that strains comprehension at times.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent issues with verb forms and tenses, such as 'the highest jobs were', 'the jobs were dopped', 'they were exactly follows each others', 'the healthcare jobs also high in demand', and 'the agriculture jobs goes'. Additionally, article and preposition errors are common, and the frequent structural flaws impede clear communication throughout the response.
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