Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided line graph illustrate the count of jobs in several sectors of the economy such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing sector accounted for the highest numbers in 1960. While, healthcare made for the lowest in the same year. By the end of 2020, healthcare and retails sector have become job with the highest numbers of employs.

To commence with 1960, manufacturing held the maximum jobs with 15millinons. While, healthcare listed for the least number of jobs. Whereas, retails and agriculture had the same number of jobs with around 5 millions. By the end of 1960, numbers of jobs were considerably rose in manufacturing, healthcare, retails to 20millions, 5millions, 10millions respectively. In contrast, numbers of jobs were declined in agriculture to around 3 millions job.

In the next 4 decades, the jobs in manufacturing an healthcare were dramatically reduced and made it to 8 millions and 2 millions respectively. In contrast, the numbers of jobs in retail and healthcare were drastically jumped to 15 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting information from the line graph, but it only partially covers the task. While an overview is attempted, it contains noticeable inaccuracies regarding the final data, such as claiming healthcare and retail became the jobs with the highest numbers of employs while misrepresenting the trends in the body paragraphs. For instance, the data points are incorrectly reported in several places, like stating manufacturing and healthcare were reduced to 8 millions and 2 millions in the next 4 decades when the graph shows different figures, and confusing retail and healthcare data at the end. The ideas are limited and under-developed, presenting data mechanically without clear synthesis of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation in the response, featuring an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression. The use of cohesive devices is frequently mechanical or inaccurate, such as repeating transitions like 'To commence with' and 'While' in awkward positions. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow between sentences is disjointed. Referencing and progression are sometimes faulty, making it difficult for the reader to follow the movement of data across the years smoothly. To move up, the response would need to logically sequence information with smoother, more accurate cohesive links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'considerably rose', 'dramatically reduced', and 'drastically jumped', but these attempts are marred by noticeable word choice, word form, and spelling errors, such as 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', 'millinons', 'employs' instead of 'employees', and 'retails sector'. These errors and awkward collocations cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary control. To improve, the student needs to use precise vocabulary and ensure accurate word forms and correct spellings.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentence forms are dominant, and attempts at complex or descriptive sentences are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'The provided line graph illustrate', missing articles, and incorrect prepositional or passive patterns such as 'healthcare made for the lowest' and 'healthcare listed for the least number of jobs'. Furthermore, tense usage is inconsistent when describing past data. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student must increase sentence variety and reduce basic grammatical mistakes.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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