Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the data regarding the number of employment in four diffrent areas of the economy in the United states by the two years 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it has been observed that manufacturing sector was highest at the starting however, it droped over the peroid. Whereas, agriculture showed least intrest among the all catogaries while, retail and healthcare showed constant growth.

By analysing the information, in 1960 highest jobs were accounted in manufacturing section approximately 15 million later that number reached 20 million in 1980. However, that number gradually decrease over the years and and contributed only about 13 million in 2020. Following that, only about 5 millions jobs available in agriculture in the given starting year after it reduce around 0.25 million in 1980 later that it remain constatnt thorughout the years and stood at only 0.20 in 2020.

Moreover, retail sector was started roughly around 5 million in 1960 hens, that number grows sharply untill the end of the year while it crossed 15 million jobs. In healthcare sector that number was only 0.25 million but later that year there was a constant growth can be seen untill 2020 it surpassed the number of retail catogary and accounted 15 millions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, presenting a clear overview and making relevant comparisons. For instance, you correctly noted that manufacturing started as the highest sector before dropping, while retail and healthcare showed growth. However, some areas are under-developed or contain inaccuracies. You stated that agriculture fell to 0.25 million and then 0.20 million, whereas the graph shows it dropping to around 2-3 million. Additionally, the overview could be more precise regarding the overall trends. To reach a higher level, ensure that all reported data points closely reflect the visual information provided in the prompt without misinterpreting the scale.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your writing has a coherent overall arrangement and logical paragraphing, with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific economic sectors. You make use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'By analysing the information', and 'Moreover'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, and referencing is not always completely clear. For example, expressions like 'later that it remain constatnt' and 'hens, that number grows' disrupt the smooth flow of ideas. To improve, work on using a wider variety of transitional phrases more naturally and ensure that sentences connect logically without abrupt transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common terms such as 'sector', 'contributed', and 'constant growth'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the quality of the writing. For instance, 'diffrent' is misspelled, 'intrest' is incorrect, and phrases like 'least intrest among the all catogaries' and 'highest jobs were accounted in manufacturing section' show unnatural collocation and word choice. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your lexical repertoire and ensure correct spelling and precise word choices when discussing economic data and trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'the given line graph illustrates...' and 'while retail and healthcare showed constant growth'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede overall communication. Examples of errors include missing articles ('in healthcare sector'), preposition errors ('in the two years 1960 and 2020' instead of 'between 1960 and 2020'), and run-on structures or punctuation lapses like 'decrease over the years and and contributed'. To reach the next level, you need to increase your control over complex sentence patterns, preposition use, and subject-verb agreement while reducing basic grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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