Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
To begin with manufacturing and agriculture sector. There is a increasing trend in manufacturing sector between 1960 and 1980 but after 1980 a gradual decline in manufacturing sector is seen till 2020. Whereas, in agriculture sector there is a decrease in jobs between 1960 and 1980 and after that the sector maintained its share in providing jobs till 2000 and further declined by 2020.
On the other hand retail and healthcare sector shows an upward trend in providing number of jobs. However, the pace of growth is reduced in retail sector after 2000 while the healthacare sector speed up after 1980.
In conclusion, all four sectors are providing jobs and serving in the US economy. It is been noticed that agriculture sector is declining day by day and healthcare has became the most important sector out of all. Retail and manufacturing sectors are also playing a crucial role in the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by presenting an overview of the four sectors and making relevant comparisons between them, such as contrasting the growth of healthcare and retail with the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full data support. For instance, the details regarding specific years or values could be integrated more precisely into the trends described. The overview provided in the conclusion captures the main overall developments, but the bullet points and key turning points are not fully explored. Consequently, the writing addresses the prompt adequately while leaving room for deeper extension of the supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the information logically into an introduction, body paragraphs grouped by sector trends, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct ideas, though some sentences within the body paragraphs are disjointed. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin with', 'Whereas', and 'On the other hand', but referencing and transitions can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or abrupt, particularly in the opening sentences of the body paragraphs. Overall, the logical progression is maintained throughout the response, ensuring the reader can follow the main trends without significant confusion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, with successful attempts at less common items and trend-related phrases such as 'increasing trend', 'gradual decline', and 'upward trend'. However, there are some word-choice and word-form inaccuracies that detract from precision, such as 'healthacare' (spelling error) and 'speed up' instead of 'speeded up' or 'accelerated'. Vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey the main features of the graph, but occasional slips in collocation and terminology prevent the lexical control from reaching a higher level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at structuring sentences, such as 'There is a increasing trend in manufacturing sector between 1960 and 1980 but after 1980 a gradual decline...'. There are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('a increasing trend' instead of 'an increasing trend'), prepositional awkwardness ('in manufacturing sector' rather than 'in the manufacturing sector'), and verb tense issues ('has became' instead of 'has become'). Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout the essay.
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