Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sections of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,it can be seen that there were four sectors in number of jobs in the USA between four decades [redacted phone].

In 1960 the job of healthcare was about 3 million which is the smallest quantity in the jobs and the highest amount of jobs which was Manufacturing about 15 million while, Retail and Agriculture were the same seats of jobs that was 7 million with the passage of time both number of jobs were increased However, In 1980 the job of healthcare was increased and arrived at 5 miilion jobs and Manufacturing jobs was at 20 million which was the highest seats in all decades,at the same time Retail's jobs were gradually increase that was 10 miilion Meanwhile,the job of Agriculture were declined that was 4 million. Although, In 2000 Manufacturing,Retail,Healthcare and Agriculture were same seats at the end

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the task only partially and presents a confused interpretation of the data. While the writer attempts an overview and mentions several sectors, the selection of data is erratic and often inaccurate, such as stating that healthcare in 1960 was about three million and that manufacturing in 1980 was the highest seats in all decades. Furthermore, the concluding sentence abruptly trails off with incomplete thoughts regarding the year 2000 and 2020. Important trends are largely missed, and the inaccurate reporting of figures restricts the response to a minimal level. A clearer selection of main trends and accurate data reporting would be necessary to lift this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some basic organization into paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure. The writer attempts to link sentences using cohesive devices such as "with the passage of time", "However", and "Meanwhile", but these are frequently misused, leading to mechanical and confusing connections. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the main body compressed into a single, dense block of text that lacks clear separation between ideas or time periods. Referencing is also weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of data over the decades. Better paragraph division and more precise transitional markers are required to improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like "job", "number", and "amount". There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as referring to economic sectors as "sections" and data points as "seats of jobs". Spelling errors also occur, including "miilion" instead of million. While the language is minimally adequate to convey basic concepts about the chart, the frequent lexical inaccuracies and lack of precision prevent the response from achieving a higher band. Incorporating a broader range of precise vocabulary relating to trends and data reporting would significantly improve this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex clauses that turn out faulty. There are persistent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ("This line graph illustrate", "the job of Agriculture were declined"), missing articles, and awkward prepositional phrases. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing commas disrupting the grammatical boundaries of the text. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak control over basic syntactic rules.

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