Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employment opportunities in four different sectors of the economy namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the US nation from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that earlier manufacturing was the most popular job market, although manufacturing and agriculture sector followed a downward trend. Retail and healthcare has experienced highest growth throughout the period. Jobs were in millions.
In 1960, manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs, before declining it reached the peak of 20 million in 1980, and then it declined to less than 15 million jobs. Moreover, agriculture sector had just over 5 million jobs in 1960, followed a declining trend throughout the period, at the end of the period it reported for 2 million jobs.
Furthermore, retail represented 6 million jobs in 1960, followed a upward trend and climb to just over 15 million jobs in 2020. In addition, healthcare sector had 2 million jobs in 1960, and then started growing made up 5 million jobs in 1980, and jumped to over 15 million jobs at the end of the cycle.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. The overview correctly highlights the overarching trends, such as the downward trajectory of manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. Key data points are accurately cited, including the peak of 20 million manufacturing jobs in 1980 and the eventual convergence of retail and healthcare at 16 million in 2020. However, some areas could be extended further to achieve a higher band, as certain data points are stated in a slightly repetitive manner without deeper analytical commentary on the rate of change.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information is grouped sensibly into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Furthermore' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is managed appropriately, and referencing throughout the text is clear. While the logical flow is solid, the occasional use of run-on clauses without conjunctions slightly affects the overall seamlessness of cohesion, keeping the response firmly at this level.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate and appropriate for the task, demonstrating a sufficient range to describe trends and figures flexibly. Phrases like 'employment opportunities', 'downward trend', and 'accounting for' show a satisfactory grasp of topic-specific language. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items with varying degrees of success. However, occasional awkward word choices and phrasing errors occur, such as 'reported for 2 million jobs' instead of 'stood at 2 million', and minor slips in collocation that prevent the lexical score from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including introductory subordinate clauses and time markers. There is a reasonable attempt at managing past and present tenses. However, a number of grammatical errors and punctuation slips persist throughout the text, such as missing prepositions in phrases like 'followed a declining trend' and run-on sentences lacking proper conjunctions (e.g., 'before declining it reached...'). These errors rarely impede communication, but they prevent the sentences from being consistently error-free, which is a requirement for higher grammatical bands.
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