Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph below demonstrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us betwwen 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there are 4 kinds of jobs. The highest was the manufacturing. The lowest was the agriculture.

Additionally, there are four different sectors of jobs of the economy of US. However, In 1960 the manufacturing was at the top it goes around 15 millions but in 1980 it was 20 millions moreover in 2000 it again decreased. In 2020 it remains same as it was in 1960. In 1960, the retail jobs were very less it was on 5 millions whereas in 1980 it increased 10 millions. In 2000, it was on 15 millions and it also remain as it is in 2020. The agriculture jobs was 0 in 1960, in 1980 it was on 5 millions. Suddenly in 1980 it rose to 15 millions that stay constant in 2020. The healthcare in 1960 was on 5 millions and it dropped in 1980. And it unchanged from 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting a very limited and inaccurate overview of the data provided in the line graph. While it attempts to mention the four economic sectors, several details contradict the visual information. For instance, the student claims that agriculture jobs were zero in 1960 and that healthcare was on five millions, both of which misread the chart. Furthermore, the description of trends contains significant confusion, mixing up figures and data points between sectors, such as stating agriculture rose to fifteen millions. Ideas are underdeveloped and lack a clear, accurate reporting of the main features and comparisons, keeping the performance at a minimal level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently. The progression is hindered by repetitive statements, such as the redundant declaration in the second paragraph that there are four sectors and four kinds of jobs. Paragraphing is extremely poor, with a chaotic second paragraph that dumps multiple disconnected facts together without a logical flow. Basic cohesive devices are either absent or misused, and referencing between sentences is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparisons across the decades.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable spelling errors, such as 'us' instead of 'US' and 'betwwen' instead of 'between'. Word choice is frequently inaccurate, leading to unnatural phrasing like 'jobs were very less' instead of 'the number of jobs was much lower'. The misuse of vocabulary and incorrect word forms occasionally causes confusion for the reader, reflecting a restricted ability to express precise data points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying almost exclusively on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous grammatical mistakes involving verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'it goes around 15 millions' and 'the agriculture jobs was 0'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing commas. These frequent errors distract the reader and disrupt the flow of communication throughout the text.

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