Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the trends in the job numbers particularly in the sectors of Manufacturing, Retailing, Agriculture and Healthcare in the years between 1960 and 2020.Units are measured in millions.

Overall, the employment rate increased for both retail and healthcare sectors while manufacturing and agriculture faced a decline in the job rate.

Healthcare jobs boomed significantly and the highest of all over the years. On the other hand, Agriculture had the biggest drop in numbers among all sectors.

With regards to the sectors whose numbers increased over the years, both Retail and Healthcare had a major growth from years 1980 to 2000 of approximately 10 millions. But in the next 20 years, Retails employment rate slowed down while the Healthcare kept the same pace and both of them reached to 16 millions at the end of 2020.

On the other hand, for the first 20 years from 1960 to 2080 , Manufacturing had the highest rate of growth reaching 20 millions but then it declined significantly to 13 millions till 2020.Similarly, Agriculture growth dropped over the years from 6 to 3 millions approximately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is present, highlighting the overall upward trends in retail and healthcare alongside the declines in manufacturing and agriculture. However, some areas are more fully developed than others, placing the response at this band level. For instance, the discussion of the initial rise and subsequent fall in manufacturing is somewhat vague, and a typo in the final paragraph refers to the year 2080 instead of 1980. To reach a higher band, the student should ensure all data points are cited accurately without chronological slips, and provide more fully extended comparisons across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the overview and body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the growing sectors from the declining ones. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty. Phrases such as "With regards to the sectors whose numbers increased over the years" are slightly wordy, and referencing is not always entirely clear, such as the pronoun use when shifting between retail and healthcare. To move to the next level, the student should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, ensuring that transitions between contrasting trends feel more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items such as "boomed significantly," "employment rate," and "decline in the job rate." Communication is not impeded by word choice errors, though there are some slight inaccuracies in collocation and word form, such as writing "Retails employment rate" instead of "retail employment rate" or using "millions" as a noun plural in "approximately 10 millions." Spelling is generally accurate. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate a more precise control of less common lexical items and collocations, avoiding awkward phrasing and ensuring strict accuracy in word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at subordinate clauses and comparative structures. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these rarely impede communication. Examples include missing articles or prepositions, such as "reaching 20 millions but then it declined significantly to 13 millions till 2020," and a typographical error in the date "2080" instead of "1980." Punctuation around transitional phrases could also be refined. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and maintain tighter control over prepositions, articles, and chronological details.

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