Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrate the proportion of jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in the Healthcare sector have increased drastically over the period whilist the amount of jobs in manufacturing section have decreased significantly.However the jobs in the Agriculture sector were relatively stable upto 2020.

The Manufacturing sector has the highest number of jobs during the year 1980 which is around 20 million however this steadily decreased to approximately 13 million in the year 2020. The amount of jobs in the agriculture sector during the year 1960 was about 6 million which has then decreased to around 2 million by the year 2020.

The jobs figure in the Healthcare and Retail domains was initially 3 million and 6 million respectively which has then increased drastically to about 16 million approximately during the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response is under the minimum word count requirement, coming in at 138 words. While it attempts all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview and reporting key data from the line chart, some features are under-developed or inaccurately reported. For instance, the overview incorrectly refers to proportions rather than absolute numbers of jobs in millions. Furthermore, the details for Retail and Healthcare are combined somewhat confusingly in the final paragraph, making it difficult to trace individual trends clearly. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is met, avoid confusing proportions with raw numbers, and expand more clearly on the specific trends for each economic sector without grouping disparate categories together.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical division into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'However', and time markers like 'during the year 1980' are used to structure the text, though referencing and connections are occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the abrupt transition in the second paragraph ('However the jobs in the Agriculture sector'). Paragraphing is generally appropriate, separating the introduction, overview, and specific data points. To improve cohesion further, the writer should ensure smoother transitions between sentences and avoid abrupt shifts in focus, particularly when introducing contrasting trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts at less common items such as 'drastically', 'significantly', and 'relatively stable'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as using 'proportion' instead of 'number' in the introduction, and referring to the 'manufacturing section' instead of 'sector'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but minor lexical slips do occur. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate greater precision in terminology related to graphical data and expand their range of less common vocabulary with tighter control over word choice and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. There are several error-free sentences, such as references to past data points. However, grammatical errors and punctuation slips are present, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the number of jobs... have increased' instead of 'has increased'), missing articles, and punctuation errors like missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'significantly.However'). These errors rarely impede communication, keeping the grammar within this performance level. To improve, the writer must pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, refine punctuation around transition words, and ensure consistent accuracy in tense usage when describing historical data.

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