Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph show information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

overall, manufacturing is high of the economy in the us also agriculture is low in 2020.

Now, healthcar sector only 2 millons jobs in 1960. Healthcar sector was very high level up in 2020. It was 16 millons jobs. Agriculture sector was 6 millions jobs gave in 1960 but 2020 it was very low around 1 or 2 millons jobs.

Here, manufacturing sector was 15 millons jobs gave however 1980 year 20 millons jobs gave in the us. It was down year by year also 2020 manufaturing sector 13 millons jobs gave. It was a down level. Retail sector was day by day growth doing. Retail sector was 2 millons jobs in 1960. It was high level jobs gave in 1980 to 2000 years. Retail sector was grow in 2020. It was 16 millons jobs ratio.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum length requirement, with the student's text containing only 146 words (excluding copied prompt text). The response addresses the task only partially. While the student attempts to report the main features and trends of the four sectors, the overview provided in the second paragraph is weak, inaccurate in part, and fails to capture the overarching changes clearly. Furthermore, some data points are misreported, such as stating that the retail sector had two million jobs in 1960 when the graph shows six millions, and describing the agricultural sector's figures confusingly. Ideas are limited and under-developed, preventing the response from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response displays some organization, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure. The text is broken into short, choppy sentences rather than cohesive paragraphs that group related trends together. Transitions and cohesive devices are inadequate, repetitive, or missing entirely, with phrases like 'Now,' and 'Here,' used awkwardly to introduce new points instead of logical connectors. Referencing and paragraphing are poorly managed, making it difficult for the reader to follow a smooth development of ideas throughout the summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms and phrases such as 'jobs', 'millions', 'high level', and 'down'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'growth doing' instead of 'growing' or 'experiencing growth', and 'jobs gave' used repeatedly. These vocabulary errors and the lack of a varied lexical range cause some difficulty and strain for the reader, though the general topic remains just about comprehensible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and frequently faulty sentence structures. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, articles, and prepositions, such as 'This graph show information' (agreement error), 'healthcar sector only 2 millons jobs' (missing verb), and capitalization errors like 'us' and 'manufaturing'. Complex sentence attempts are largely absent or grammatically incorrect. These frequent errors disrupt the flow and occasionally cause difficulty in understanding the intended meaning.

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