Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the employment trends in four different sectors of the economy in the US between the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare and retail sectors offered less employment in 1960 amounting to about 2 to around 6 million respectively then rose significantly being the highest employers by the year 2020 providing over 15 million jobs.

In contrast, the manufacturing sector was the greatest recruiter at the commencement of the period, with a sharp rise from 1960 to 1980 where it declined gently recording roughly 13 million jobs. This shows that this sector has been a major recruiter for a longer period from year 1960 to aroround 2005 and still holds a lot of employees by 2020 despite that retail and healthcare overtook towards the end of the period around year 2015.

In a nutshell, Agriculture offered jobs to about 6 million people in year 2016 being at par with the retail sector and above the healthcare. However, it faced a gradual drop till 1980 then hired constant numbers upto 2020 and slightly decreased totalling close to 5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, as there are notable inaccuracies and confusions regarding the data presented in the graph. For instance, the student states that Agriculture 'offered jobs to about 6 million people in year 2016 being at par with the retail sector'—a year and data point not supported by the graph, where retail and healthcare intersect around 2015 and agriculture was actually very low at that time. Additionally, the description of manufacturing having a sharp rise followed by a gentle decline misinterprets the 1980 peak (20 million) and subsequent drop. While an overall trend is attempted, some ideas are under-developed or factually confused, restricting the response to a partial coverage of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organization with an introductory sentence, body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph beginning with 'In a nutshell'. However, there is no clear overall progression due to confusing chronological tracking and jumbled data reporting, particularly in the final paragraph which references agriculture incorrectly. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'then rose significantly being the highest employers' and 'In a nutshell' used improperly to introduce a new data detail rather than a summary. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal referencing and logical flow between sentences need significant tightening to achieve a clearer structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic economic sectors and employment terms such as 'employment trends', 'recruiter', and 'sector'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary with some degree of success, such as 'commencement', 'overtook', and 'significantly'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'offered less employment ... amounting to about 2 to around 6 million respectively' and 'hired constant numbers', which slightly impact precision. Spelling and word forms are generally acceptable and do not impede basic communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a limited range of structures, with attempts at complex sentences that are frequently faulty or awkwardly constructed. For example, the long sentence starting with 'Overall, the healthcare and retail sectors...' lacks clean subordination and punctuation control. There are frequent errors in prepositions, verb tenses, and modifiers, such as 'between the period of 1960 to 2020', 'hired constant numbers upto 2020', and 'aroround'. These errors require the reader to slow down and can cause occasional difficulty, reflecting a mixed control of simple and complex grammatical forms.

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