Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE CHANGES IN THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US OVER THE PERIOD 1960 TO 2020.
OVERALL,THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN RETAIL AND HEALTH CARE SECTOR INCREASED CONSIDERABLY OVER THE PERIOD WHILE THE MANUFACTURING AND AGRICULTURE SECTOR SHOWED NOTICABLE DECLINE THROUGH OUT THE PERIOD.
IN 2020, THE RETAIL AND HEALTH CARE SECTORS SHOWS 15 MILLION JOBS, WHERE AS AGRICULTURE AND MANUFACTURING SECTORS SHOWS 2.5 MILLION AND 10.30 MILLION APPROX.
HAVING SAID THAT IN FROM 1996 TO 980 MANUFACTURING SECTOR HAD THE GREATEST NUMBER OF JOBS COMPARED TO THE EACH SECTOR OF ECONOMY HOWEVER IT STARTED TO DECLINE AFTER 1980. SIMILARLY HEALTHCARE SECTOR HAD THE LOWEST NUMBER OF JOBS IN 1960 AND BUT STARTED TO RISE THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 115 words of student writing, which leaves the overview and details partially developed and results in a penalty for insufficient length. While the student attempts to address the prompt by outlining the main trends in the four sectors, the reporting of data is inaccurate and confusing. For instance, the statement that retail and healthcare sectors show 15 million jobs in 2020 and that agriculture and manufacturing show 2.5 and 10.30 million respectively contradicts the visual data provided. The overview touches upon the upward trends of retail and healthcare alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, but key features lack precise support and the overall response remains minimal and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text demonstrates some general organization with an introduction, an overview, and body sentences, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes inaccurate, as seen in the abrupt transitions and clumsy phrasing like 'HAVING SAID THAT IN FROM 1996 TO 980'. Paragraphing is partially handled, but the capitalisation throughout the response disrupts readability and the logical flow between sentences is often disjointed. Referencing and relationships between data points are not always clear, leading to a mechanical arrangement of information that lacks cohesive control.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common items such as 'considerable', 'noticable' (spelled incorrectly as 'noticable'), and 'decline', but encounters noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that reflect a restricted range. For example, dates and figures are awkwardly expressed, and terms like 'SECTOR' are repeated mechanically. While communication is not entirely blocked, the frequent lexical inaccuracies and basic phrasing restrict the response to a lower band for this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing displays a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are significant errors in verb forms, tense consistency, and prepositions, such as 'THE RETAIL AND HEALTH CARE SECTORS SHOWS' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'IN FROM 1996 TO 980'. Furthermore, punctuation is largely neglected due to the use of all-capital letters, and errors occur frequently across the text, occasionally causing difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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