Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data of employment in four different sectors of the economy i.e. manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US during 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare sector surged during the period of 1960 to 2020, while there was sudden decline after rise in employments in manufacturing sector.

The employment in manufacturing sector was 2 millions in 1960, and there was substantial growth and consequently it reached upto 15 millions in 2020. There were same number of jobs in retail and agriculture sectors in 1960 i.e. 6 millions, but the employment status in agriculture sector declined upto 4 millions in 1980 and then 3 million in 2020.

There was a gradual increase in the number of jobs in retail sector moving the employment status from 6 millions to 16 millions same as in healthcare. The number of jobs in manufacturing sector first rose sharply reaching 20 millions in 1980 and then sudden fall in the employment status making it to 13 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting data across the four sectors, but some parts are underdeveloped or inaccurate. For example, the overview correctly identifies the major upward trend in healthcare and the fluctuation in manufacturing, but the body paragraphs contain significant data errors. You stated that 'The employment in manufacturing sector was 2 millions in 1960', whereas the graph shows it started at 15 million. Similarly, you claimed manufacturing reached '15 millions in 2020', which contradicts your later correct mention of 13 million. Furthermore, agriculture is said to have declined to '4 millions in 1980' when it actually dropped to 3 million. These inaccuracies in data reporting prevent the response from achieving a higher band, showing only a partial grasp of the visual information.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a basic overall arrangement with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, providing some logical organization. However, progression is sometimes hindered by confusing structure and repetitive information. You mention details about the manufacturing sector in the third paragraph and then return to discuss manufacturing again in the final sentence, rather than grouping all data for that sector logically. Cohesive devices are also somewhat mechanical or faulty; phrases like 'moving the employment status from' feel unnatural, and referencing between sentences is occasionally unclear. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better linking and logical sequencing of data points to guide the reader smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to describe basic trends. You attempt less common vocabulary items and phrases, such as 'surged', 'substantial growth', and 'rose sharply'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher score, such as writing 'employments' instead of 'employment' or 'employment status', and confusing numbers in data delivery. Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary choices do not severely impede communication, but precision and style remain inconsistent throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, such as 'while there was sudden decline after rise in employments...'. However, there are several errors in grammar, prepositions, and articles that recur. For instance, 'in healthcare sector' lacks the definite article 'the', and phrases like 'declined upto 4 millions in 1980 and then 3 million' show grammatical inconsistency with pluralization and prepositions. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist alongside limited structural variety, placing the grammar firmly in the middle band range.

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