Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The Line graphs tracks the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy including manufacturing ,retail, Agriculture, Healthcare, from 1960 to 2020

Overall , Manufacturing recorded the highest number of jobs for most of the period , although its figure declined considerably towards 2020. In contrast, Healthcare experienced the most significant increase, while Retail also showed the upward trend. Agriculture, on the other hand, declined steadily and became the sector with the fewest jobs by 2020.

Looking First at Manufacturing , the sector recoded 15 millions jobs in 1960, after which the figure increased steadily and reached a peak of 19 million in 1980 before declining to approximately 11 millionin 2020.Followed by retail. the sector stood at approximately 6 millions jobs in 1960 , which Climbed gradually and reached around 16 millions jobs in 2020

Agriculture made up to 6 million jobs, relatively Similar to Retail in 1960, However It dropped gradually and recorded 3 millions jobs in 2020, Healthcare, On the other hand recorded the significant Changes in its jobs figure additionally the sector Constituted to 16 millions jobs ,similar to Retail in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting an overview and reporting the main features of the four sectors across the timeline. The general trends and key changes are identified, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, some ideas are under-developed or less fully supported with precise data. For instance, some of the figures cited in the text, such as the peak of 19 million for manufacturing or the 2020 numbers, do not precisely match the provided visual data, showing some inaccuracies in data reporting. Furthermore, the final paragraph presents a fragmented structure where sentences are tacked together rather than fully extended. To reach a higher band, the student must ensure greater accuracy when reporting data from the graph and provide more fully developed comparisons between the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overview paragraph, and then detailing specific sector trends. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and paragraphing is irregular. The third body paragraph runs several distinct ideas together without appropriate transitions, and some sentences lack proper linking. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the abrupt transition 'Followed by retail' which creates a disjointed sentence structure. To improve, the student should ensure clearer logical progression between sentences, use cohesive devices more accurately, and organize body paragraphs into distinct, well-managed units of information rather than mixing multiple sectors in a single, unstructured block.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and general economic terminology such as 'considerable', 'significant increase', and 'upward trend'. However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and form. Examples include 'recoded' instead of 'recorded', 'millions jobs' instead of 'million jobs', and awkward phrasing like 'Constituted to'. Spelling and word-choice errors occur throughout the text, though they do not seriously impede overall communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to refine word forms, eliminate recurring spelling slips, and use precise collocations and pluralisation rules when reporting statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and introductory phrases. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. These include missing punctuation marks, comma splices, and incorrect preposition use, such as 'conituted to' or missing hyphens in noun phrases. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist across multiple sentences and limit the control over complex structures. To reach a higher band, the student must pay closer attention to punctuation, avoid comma splices by properly connecting clauses, and ensure accurate grammatical patterns and prepositions when describing numerical trends.

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