Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides data related to four different sections of economy in US, and the number of employments from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that jobs in manufacturing showed the highest number of jobs; whereas agriculture remained at the lowest throughout the years. Other two sectors displayed a noticeable growth.

First and foremost, manufacturing was at 15 millions in 1960, and reached its peak in 1980 about 20 million; it undergoes a signifcant fall and closed at 18 millions in 2020. Although agriculture was at 6 millions in earliar year, it showed a moderate decline in the later years.

Meanwhile, employment rate in retail showed a sharp rise by starting at 6 millions in 1960, and went upto 16 millions in 2020. Furthermore, healthcare was lowest in initial year (2 millions), but rose to 16 millions in 2020. While the starting points of healthcare and retail were different in numbers, they were equal in the number of jobs in the last year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, outlining overall trends and providing some key data points, such as manufacturing reaching a peak and retail and healthcare rising significantly. However, some of the information reported is inaccurate or imprecise based on the visual data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing closed at 18 millions in 2020, whereas the actual figure is closer to 13 millions. Additionally, agriculture is described as showing a moderate decline in later years, when the graph shows it plateaued between 1980 and 2000 before dropping slightly to 2 millions. Because some ideas are under-developed or inaccurately supported by the data, the response sits securely at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical arrangement, moving from an introduction to an overview, and then breaking down the specific sectors into body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different parts of the visual data. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas together, such as 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or formulaic, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Overall, the information flows reasonably well and guides the reader through the data presented in the line graph.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for describing graphical data, successfully employing terms such as 'peak', 'moderate decline', 'sharp rise', and 'employment rate'. However, there are some word choice and collocation issues, such as writing 'four different sections of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy', and spelling errors like 'signifcant' and 'earliar'. Attempts at less common vocabulary are made, but occasional inaccuracies in spelling and word form mean communication is sometimes slightly hindered. To improve, the student needs to ensure more precise vocabulary use and careful proofreading to eliminate basic lexical slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'Although agriculture was at...' and 'While the starting points... were different'. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as 'number of employments' instead of 'levels of employment' or 'number of people employed', and missing articles ('in US'). Preposition and tense usage also exhibit minor flaws, such as saying 'it undergoes' instead of 'it underwent' when discussing past years. These errors are present throughout the text, but they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to understand the intended meaning without significant difficulty.

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