Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

T1360he showing line graph shows the numbers of jobs in in the US. The four different types of sectors that includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in 4 decades for the comparisons are in following paragraph.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. The line graphs shows the two access one was y access that represents the jobs, and x access for the years. in the graph the highest number of jobs was mentioned was the manufacturing which has 15 million jobs in the year 1960, and the lowest was healthcare which has around 2.5million jobs ,and the other two sectors Retail and Agriculture both has 5 million jobs in the year 1960. in the year 1980, Manufacturing and Retail was increased by 5 million jobs healthcare was also increased by 2.5 million but unfortunately Agriculture decreased by almost 5 million. in year [redacted phone] its an big change in the graph of manufacturing decreased by 20 million to 17 million jobs, Retail and Agriculture was increased by another 5 million jobs and the healthcare was slightly increased. in the last decade Manufacturing decreased by around 2.5 million , Retail and Agriculture both increased and goes to 15 million jobs, healthcare was decreased around 2 million. This was the exact calculation that shows in the line graph.

Its was an a very huge calculations that i have ever scene in my life, The number of jobs in four sectors an huge change i see in the graph was Agriculture it was the lowest on the 1960 and almost highest from the other sectors in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes a minimal attempt to address the task by mentioning some numbers and sectors, such as manufacturing having 15 million jobs in 1960. However, the report includes major inaccuracies in data interpretation—for instance, claiming that manufacturing decreased from 20 million to 17 million between 1980 and 2000 when it actually went from 20 to 17, and making strange meta-commentary in the final paragraphs that completely derails the academic tone and purpose of a Task 1 response. The overview is absent or obscured by irrelevant personal commentary, and key comparisons are largely missed or confused. Note that 14 words copied from the prompt were not counted toward the minimum length requirement, though the text as a whole meets the minimum word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the response. The text lacks a logical overall progression, jumping awkwardly between data points and breaking into strange narrative paragraphs that resemble personal reflections rather than an organized report. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the main body text crammed into a single block followed by an erratic concluding section. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or used inappropriately (e.g., 'in the graph the highest number...', 'This was the exact calculation...'), which causes the reader to lose the thread of the information being presented.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and restricted. The writer relies heavily on simple terms and makes frequent word choice and word form errors, such as referring to the axes as 'two access' and 'y access', and using words like 'calculations' and 'scene' incorrectly. There are also numerous spelling and expression slips (e.g., 'goes to' instead of 'reached'). These limitations and errors frequently strain the reader's understanding and prevent the conveyance of precise statistical information.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying on simple sentences that are frequently marred by basic structural errors. There are frequent mistakes in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns (e.g., 'jobs in in the US', 'Manufacturing and Retail was increased', 'Agriculture it was the lowest on the 1960'). Punctuation is also erratic, with run-on sentences and incorrect comma placements. These frequent errors distort meaning in places and make the grammatical control weak overall.

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