Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate the result of a 40 years survey about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 which are manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare .

Overall , the number of jobs in both healthcare and retail was consistently increasing in diffrent ways .

starting with the first sector , the former rised from roughly 2.5 jobs in million to 16 which represented the sharpest incline .

As for retail , the job opportunities increased steadly from 6 to 15 until 2000 where the slope became smaller and the number reached approximately 16 jobs in million .

In contrast , there were a noticeable fall in terms of manufacturing and agriculture .

In fact , the manucaturing's line graph shows that the number of jobs between 1960 and 1980 , rose from 15 to 20, then dropped to 13 by the year 2020.

Meanwhile agriculture was growing at a decreasing rate during 40 years .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Note that the response falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum, containing 149 words (excluding the copied rubric). The response addresses the task partially by presenting an overview and covering some of the main trends in the data. However, the selection and reporting of features are somewhat incomplete and lack proper depth. For instance, the discussion of agriculture is inaccurate as the student claims it was growing at a decreasing rate, whereas the graph clearly shows a steady decline from 6 million down to 2 million. Additionally, numerical data is occasionally misread or awkwardly phrased, such as referencing '2.5 jobs in million' instead of millions of jobs. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure all data is accurately reported and fully support descriptions of trends with correct figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates some organisation with an introduction, separate body references, and an attempt at an overview, but it lacks a clear, cohesive overall progression. Paragraphing is fragmented, with many single-sentence paragraphs that disrupt the natural flow of information. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive or awkwardly handled, such as 'starting with the first sector' and 'As for retail'. Reference words are occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow which sector is being described without re-reading. To improve, the writer should group related data into well-developed paragraphs, use a wider variety of cohesive ties, and ensure logical sequencing throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The lexical resource is limited but minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'consistently increasing', 'sharpest incline', and 'steadly', but these attempts are marred by spelling errors and occasional misuse of word forms. For example, 'rised' is used instead of rose, and 'steadly' is misspelled. Expressions like 'jobs in million' also reveal a lack of control over standard collocation. While communication is not entirely impeded, these noticeable errors and limited lexical range restrict the score. To progress, the student needs to build a more precise vocabulary for describing statistical changes and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex forms that often contain errors. There are frequent grammatical lapses, particularly with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. For instance, the opening verb 'illustrate' fails to agree with the singular subject 'The graph', and phrases like 'a noticeable fall in terms of manufacturing' show awkward structural control. Punctuation errors, such as spaces before commas, are also present. To achieve a higher band, the student must increase sentence variety, improve control over past tense narrative for historical data, and eliminate frequent basic grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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