Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph provide us the details of few jobs in four departments of economy in the US between 1960 and 1920. We are going to summarise the main parts by the help of selecting & reporting.

As we see from the graph there are detailed information about the economy of four sectors like manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture & Health care.

First of all we are going to explain the economy of Manufacturing sector, In 1960 the jobs in manufacturing sector are 15 million, In 1980 the jobs are 20 millions, In 2000 the economy of manufacturing company is dropped down & jobbs ratio decreased as compare to 1980, in 2000 the jobs are round about 17 million & in 2020 the the economy of manufacturing company becomes more decreased as compare to 1960 the jobs in 2020 was around about 12 million.

Now we discuss about the Retail sector economy in 1960 the jobs are 6 million, In 1980 the jobs are 10 million, In 2000 the jobs are 15 million & in 2020 the jobs are 16 million.

Now we discuss the Agriculture sector, the jobs in 1960 are 6 million, In 1980 the jobs are 3 million, In 2000 the jobs are 3 million & In 2020 the jobs are 2 million.

Now we discuss about the last sector Healthcare the jobs in 1960 are 2 million, In 1980 the jobs are 5 million, In 2000 the jobs are 13 million & in 2020 the jobs are 16 million.

Now we compare the all four sectors economy the top ranking economy in 1960 was manufacturing & lowest economy sector in healthcare.

In 1980 the top economy sector is manufacturing & lowest economy sector is Agriculture.

In 2000 the top economy company is manufacturing & lowest economy sector is Agriculture.

But the most important part is this the top economy sectors in 2020 was Retailing & Healthcare. The lowest was Agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially because the writer misunderstands the timeline, referring to the final year as 1920 instead of 2020. While key data points for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare are identified, the presentation is overly mechanical and repetitive, moving rigidly through each sector year by year. An overview is attempted at the end when comparing the sectors, but it lacks clarity and contains factual inaccuracies regarding the rankings in 2000 and 2020. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to present a clearer, more accurate overview of the main trends and select key features more purposefully rather than listing every single data point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization present, as the writer attempts to group information by sector and provides a concluding comparison. However, there is no clear overall progression; the essay reads more like a disjointed list than a cohesive report. Paragraphing is weak, with repetitive conversational formulas like 'Now we discuss about' used excessively instead of proper cohesive devices. Referencing is also occasionally unclear or mechanical. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should use standard paragraph structures—such as an introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs—and connect sentences and ideas more smoothly using a wider range of appropriate transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms and phrases like 'jobs', 'economy', 'sector', and 'top economy sector'. There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as referring to economic sectors as 'companies' ('manufacturing company') and using 'Retailing' instead of retail. Spelling and word formation errors also appear throughout the text, including 'jobbs' and 'round about'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range by incorporating more precise vocabulary suited for describing data, such as nouns and verbs of change, and demonstrate better control over word choice and collocation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent basic errors. Attempts at complex sentences are rare and often faulty, such as run-on sentences joined incorrectly with commas ('In 1960 the jobs in manufacturing sector are 15 million, In 1980 the jobs are 20 millions'). There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, including 'The graph provide us' and 'jobs in 2020 was'. To improve in this area, the writer needs to focus on mastering basic sentence boundaries, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and incorporating a greater variety of complex grammatical structures with higher accuracy.

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