Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,the number of jobs increased significantly in Retail and healthcare sectors respectively,whereas the figure declined in manufacturing and agriculture sectors.Initially Manufacturing was the area which had the highest number of jobs making it popular among different sectors,while agriculture has the lowest number of jobs within all the years.

The number of jobs in Manufacturing initially increased from 15 in 1960 to 20 in 1980,but the figure decreased considerably from 17 in 2000 to 13 in 2020.Meanwhile,the figure for agriculture sector dropped but later on it fluctuated and remained constant over the years from 1980 to 2020.

In contrast,the number of jobs in retail rose significantly from 5 in 1960 to 10 in 1980,whereas the figures increased continuously from 15 in 2000 to 16 in 2020 making the highest number among all the sectors.Similiarly,the figure in healthcare increased simultaneously with retail sector from 2 in 1960 to 16 in 2020.

At last,both healthcare and retail were the most popular sectors among all the areas, which had the highest number of jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by providing an overview and selecting the main features and comparisons of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the general trends, noting the significant increases in Retail and Healthcare alongside the declines in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, some ideas and data points are under-developed or inaccurately reported. For instance, the retail starting point is misread as 5 instead of 6, and the description of the agriculture sector contains inaccuracies, as the data shows a continuous decline from 6 in 1960 to 2 in 2020 rather than remaining constant from 1980 onwards. These minor errors and slightly underdeveloped supporting details place this criterion comfortably at the current level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Information is grouped reasonably well by sector, allowing the reader to follow the main trends easily. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty due to spacing and punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'Overall,the', 'Meanwhile,the'). Paragraphing is utilised adequately to separate different aspects of the visual data, but referencing and transitions between sentences could be smoother and more natural to achieve a higher standard of cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an acceptable range with attempts at less common items such as 'fluctuated', 'significantly', and 'simultaneously'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, as well as minor spelling and phrasing issues (e.g., 'four different sectors of economy' missing an article, and 'Retail and healthcare sectors respectively' where 'respectively' is used incorrectly). While these lexical errors do not impede communication, they reflect a limited precision and occasional awkwardness that prevent the response from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over basic structures and attempting more intricate comparisons. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, primarily related to missing spaces after punctuation marks and occasional awkward phrasing, but these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. Complex structures are generally handled with adequate success, though minor slips in prepositions and determiners prevent the grammar from being consistently error-free.

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