Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

From many decade US has a very high opportunity of jobs for everyone in the world, the given graph below illlustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

there is four big industries in US which is handling US economy, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare, their is millons of people who are working in. every job has touch to their peak and after went to a regular industry, except healthcare, which is increasingly going for more job opportunities, as they have only around 2 to 3 millon of jobs in year 1960, but in 2020 it went 16 millon and didn't stop yet, as they want more and more.

further, retail, also have a big impact on economy market, as they went from 6 millon in year 1960 to 16 millon in 2020. And more jobs in manufacturing are always high as they 15 million in year 1960 and went to 20 millon which is touching his peak time that no one touch 20 millon. Agriculture are rarely source of income in the past, as there were 6 millon of jobs and after that it seems decrasing in jobs and in year 2020 it came to 2 million, because mostly people went to cities and rest of them are still in rural areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task only partially. While it attempts to report on the four sectors provided in the graph (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare), the information is presented in a limited and under-developed manner. Some features are reported accurately, such as the growth in retail and the sharp rise in healthcare, but other details are imprecise, and the overview lacks clarity. The student attempts to explain the underlying reasons for the trends (e.g., people moving to cities), which falls outside the scope of factual reporting required for this task. To reach a higher level, the response needs to select and highlight the key trends more clearly without drifting into speculation, providing a fully developed and accurate summary of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the response, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into a single lengthy introductory paragraph followed by a dense block of text, rather than being properly paragraphed into an introduction, an overview, and distinct body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used rather repetitively and mechanically (e.g., 'further', 'and more', 'after that'), and referencing is occasionally unclear. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should use logical paragraphing to separate different trends, employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive markers, and ensure that the progression of ideas from the overview to specific details flows naturally without abrupt transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic concepts about the graph. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling (such as 'illlustrate', 'millons', 'decrasing', and 'rarely' instead of 'rare') that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The range of vocabulary is restricted, and while the student attempts some less common terms, these are often used inaccurately. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, incorporate precise vocabulary related to data trends (such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'surpassed'), and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors to ensure smoother communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on run-on sentences joined by commas or coordinating conjunctions. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to noticeable grammar errors such as subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there is four big industries', 'retail, also have'), incorrect prepositions, and missing articles. These frequent errors cause strain and occasional confusion for the reader. To improve in this area, the writer must practice constructing grammatically sound simple and complex sentences, pay close attention to singular and plural agreement, and improve punctuation by avoiding comma splices.

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