Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line paragraph illustrates the number pf accupations in four sectors of the economy from 1960 to 2020 , in the united states .
Overall , all of Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health increased from 1960 to 1980 . then,
both of Retail and Healthcare kept increasing sharply in the economy of the US till 2020 . However , Manufacturing and Healthcare dipped marginally over the the period , espicially Agriculture which was the least .
Both healthcare and Retail 's jobs figure saw a notable increase from less than 5 million in 1960 to more than 10 and 15 million job in 2000 , in 2020 both sectors number of occupations were similar where it stood at more than 15 million .
Meanwhile , Manufacturing's number of jobs increased the peak of that period 20 million in 1980 than fell sharply to less then 15 million job in 2020 . The Agriculture kept decreasing steadily from over than 5 million in 1960 to less than 5 million in 2020 , which was the lowest numebr of occupations in the period .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides an overview of the trends, but some data points are inaccurate or poorly supported. For instance, the text claims that 'Manufacturing and Healthcare dipped marginally over the the period', which contradicts the visual data showing that healthcare grew significantly from 2 million to 16 million jobs. Furthermore, there is confusion in the reporting of agriculture, stating it decreased to 'less than 5 million' when it actually started at 6 million and fell to 2 million. The information is presented, but key features lack precise data handling and some descriptive statements are contradictory or imprecise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs and attempts to present a logical progression from an overview to specific details. However, overall progression is hindered by confusing contradictions within the text, such as stating that healthcare dipped while simultaneously reporting it increased to 16 million. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as starting a new sentence with 'then,' uncapitalized, or using transitions inappropriately like 'However' where contrast does not logically follow. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and paragraphing is somewhat disjointed with broken lines.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are several spelling mistakes ('accupations', 'espicially', 'numebr') and basic lexical errors ('number of jobs increased the peak'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to data trends ('increased sharply', 'dipped marginally', 'decreasing steadily'), but the inaccuracies in collocation and word choice occasionally impede communication or reflect a lack of precision. Repetition of basic terms like 'jobs', 'number of occupations', and 'sectors' is noticeable throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are often faulty or poorly constructed, such as 'where it stood at more than 15 million' attached clumsily to previous clauses. Frequent errors occur in articles ('the the period', 'the peak'), prepositions ('in 2020 both sectors number'), and subject-verb agreement or clause linking ('The Agriculture kept decreasing...'). Punctuation is also problematic, with incorrect capitalization after commas and unnecessary spaces before punctuation marks, which causes difficulty for the reader.
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