Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the knowledge about the proportion of occupations in different sectors ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare) of US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Manufacturing remain dominant till 2000. Agriculture sector displays improvement and Healthcare sector shift dramatically and grow significantly.
In 1960 Manufacturing department on top, moved from 15 million jobs to 20 million. Healthcare and Retail centers moved gradually but Agriculture sector declined under 5 million.
1980 is the revolutionary year for each sector Retail and Healthcare sectors raise while Agriculture remained straight and manufacturing department dropped.
In between 2000 and 2020 Healthcare sector shows dramatic shift and crossed manufactured sector greatly. Retail matched with healthcare sector around 15 million. Manufactured department dropped from more than 15 million to under 15 million jobs only. Manufacturing sector was not the only sector that dropped in 2020, as the agriculture sector also showed a steady and noticeable decline.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview of the four sectors and reporting main features such as the dominance of manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, some aspects of the task are developed more fully than others, and certain details are slightly inaccurate or vague, such as stating that 'Manufacturing remain dominant till 2000' while omitting precise figures for some years. The overview is present but lacks sharpness, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve further, ensure that all key trends are clearly stated in the overview and supported with accurate data points throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response presents a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to structure the information into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and referencing between sentences is not always clear. For instance, transitional phrases like '1980 is the revolutionary year' are abrupt, and paragraph breaks are placed awkwardly, separating related ideas. To achieve a higher band, you should ensure a smoother logical progression between paragraphs and use a wider and more natural variety of cohesive devices to link your sentences and ideas effectively.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to incorporate less common items such as 'dominant', 'revolutionary', and 'decline'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocations, such as writing 'knowledge about the proportion of occupations' instead of 'information about the number of jobs', and referring to the manufacturing sector as a 'department' or 'centers'. There are also minor spelling and word-form slips like 'remain' instead of 'remained'. To reach a higher band, focus on using precise vocabulary that matches the exact data type in the prompt and refine your collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as 'Manufacturing sector was not the only sector that dropped in 2020, as the agriculture sector also showed a steady and noticeable decline.' There are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Manufacturing remain', 'sectors raise') and missing prepositions or articles ('sectors of US'). Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede overall communication. To move to a higher band, you need to increase your control over complex structures and eliminate basic grammatical inaccuracies.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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