Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the parsimony of agriculture, healthcare, retail and manufacturing sectors in United States of America during 1960 and 2020.

In the beginining, manufacturing husbandry was high almost 15 million , while retail and agriculture were only 5 million. Healthcare economy was low in the start. During next two decades manufacturing shows a significant rise in economy as from 15 million to 20 million, and healthcare and retail also exceed to a some extent, however agriculture shows a major decrease.

With the passage of time economy of manufacturing industry start decreasing, but parsimony of retail and healthcare sector start rising. Economy of agriculture sector showd a major downfall in next years. In the end of 2020 manufacturing industry was contributing 13 million, retail and healthcare sector were giving a share of almost 16 million, while agriculture sector was sharing only 1 or 2 million in economy of United States.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover all four sectors across the timeline, meaning it addresses the main parts of the task, but the development is somewhat restricted and contains inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the opening states that agriculture, healthcare, retail, and manufacturing had a certain 'parsimony' in 1960, which misinterprets the graph entirely. While you successfully identify key end-points such as manufacturing dropping to 13 million and retail and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020, some trends are poorly articulated or under-developed. To reach a higher level, you should ensure all key features and major comparisons are reported accurately without misinterpreting the units or economic terms, and extend your overview of the main trends more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your response has a recognizable overall structure, dividing the information into an introduction and body paragraphs that attempt to trace the changes over time. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. Transitional phrases like 'In the beginining' and 'With the passage of time' are somewhat repetitive and basic. Furthermore, referencing can be unclear, as seen in vague phrasings like 'healthcare and retail also exceed to a some extent'. Paragraphing is present, but to achieve a higher band, you need to ensure smoother logical progression between sentences and a more natural, varied use of cohesive devices to link your ideas seamlessly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary choice is quite limited and frequently inappropriate for an academic task. Using words like 'parsimony' to mean number of jobs or size of a sector is a severe lexical error, as parsimony actually means unwillingness to spend money or stinginess. Other awkward collocations and word forms appear throughout the text, such as 'manufacturing husbandry' and 'economy of manufacturing industry start decreasing'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'beginining' and 'showd'. To improve, you should build a more precise range of vocabulary related to data trends and ensure that words are used in their correct contexts and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple constructions joined by coordinating conjunctions. When you attempt more complex forms, errors emerge frequently. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('manufacturing shows', 'economy sector showd'), missing articles ('in start', 'in end of 2020'), and awkward prepositional usage ('in United States of America during 1960 and 2020'). While your meaning can generally be understood despite these issues, the frequent errors in basic grammar and punctuation hold the response back. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, verb tense consistency, and article use.

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