Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph reveals the number of posts in four sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. At a glance, there was lowest economy in agriculture sector.

In 1960, 15 millon jobs in manufacturing but it increased to 20 million in 1980.But there was drastically decreased and goes to below 15 million in 2020. In retail sector, it had about 5 million employment in 1960 but there was drametically increased and reached to over 15 million in 2020. In agriculture sector, 5 million jobs was available in 1960 but it decreased in 1980. After it goes to around 1 million. Healthcare jobs was 5 million in 1980 but it sudden upward and it almost doubled in 2000 but in 2020 again it increased and reached to 15 million.

Overall, the manufacture and healthare was less like by people while retail and agriculture sector gives huge job opportunity to the people of US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by reporting information from the graph, but it does so only partially. While some main features are mentioned, such as the trends in manufacturing and retail, the ideas are limited and under-developed. For example, the overview sentence ("At a glance, there was lowest economy in agriculture sector") is unclear and fails to capture the overall trends accurately. Furthermore, several data points are inaccurate or poorly described, such as stating that healthcare jobs were 5 million in 1980 when the chart shows 5 million as well, but missing the broader trajectory effectively. To reach a higher band, the response needs to present a clearer and more accurate overview of all major trends and support them with precise data from the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organization with an introduction, a body paragraph, and a brief conclusion, but the text lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information feels disjointed. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as abrupt transitions like "After it goes to around 1 million" and "but it sudden upward". Referencing between sentences is sometimes unclear, making the relationship between different sectors difficult to follow. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that ideas flow logically from one sentence to the next with clear paragraph breaks for distinct trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as "posts" instead of "jobs", "millon" (spelling error), and "drametically" instead of "dramatically". The writer also struggles with word forms and collocations, as seen in phrases like "there was drastically decreased" and "manufacturing and healthare was less like by people". These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher score. To progress, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary, use correct word forms, and pay closer attention to spelling and standard collocations related to data trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors in complex constructions. There are persistent grammatical inaccuracies, including missing verbs (e.g., "In agriculture sector, 5 million jobs was available" where subject-verb agreement fails, and "In 1960, 15 millon jobs in manufacturing but it increased"), incorrect prepositional usage, and tense inconsistencies. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, such as "but it sudden upward and it almost doubled". These frequent errors cause strain for the reader. To improve, the writer must focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence contains a main verb and that tenses and prepositions are used correctly.

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