Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

this chart is illustrate the informations of "Number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the united state, in the year of 1960 to 2020.

looking the year 1960 , retail and agriculture are same. as well as , retail and healthcare are clash in year 2020. first aspect is a manufacturing, in 1960 to 1980s ,it can grows around 15 milliones to 20 , then suddenly show the crash and it's goes to around 13 milliones.

seince 1960 to 2020 , retail and healthcare are growing, last aspect is agriculture is high around 5 milions in year 1960 and then lows around 3 millons in year 2020.

over all, highest demmad is manufacturing, lowest demond is agriculture, retail and agriculture is growing over the time.

job are more grown in USA is a retail and healthcare and manufacuring and agriculture is not growing and it's digreeding.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially and falls slightly short of the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, finishing at 148 words. While the student attempts to report the main features and makes some basic comparisons, such as noting that retail and agriculture started at the same point in 1960, the selection of data is incomplete and lacks a well-developed overview. Key trends are partially covered, but the information is sometimes imprecise, referring to general increases or decreases without sufficient clarity. To reach a higher band, the response would need to meet the word length requirement, provide a clearer and more comprehensive summary of the overall trends from the chart, and extend the comparisons between the four sectors with greater accuracy.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation evident in the division of ideas, but the response lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is irregular and confusing, with single-sentence paragraphs and erratic spacing that disrupt the logical flow of the report. Cohesive devices are minimal, inadequate, or inaccurate, relying on repetitive transitions like 'first aspect' and 'last aspect' rather than smooth linking words. Referencing is also weak, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data points. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the student should group related data logically into well-structured paragraphs, use a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas, and ensure a clear, seamless progression from the introduction to the overview and body details.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, demonstrating a basic range that is only minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'digreeding' instead of declining, 'milliones', 'demmad', and 'demond', alongside awkward word choices like 'clash' to describe lines intersecting. These errors and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and impede clear communication. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their vocabulary range by incorporating precise, task-specific terms and collocations related to data trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'surge', or 'plummet', while significantly improving spelling accuracy and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar is characterised by a very limited range of structures, consisting mainly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex ones. Frequent errors are present throughout the text, including tense confusion ('this chart is illustrate', 'it can grows'), missing articles, pluralisation errors ('four sectors of economy'), and incorrect prepositions ('in the year of 1960 to 2020'). These persistent errors can cause strain and difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. To improve in this area, the student needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, ensure correct verb forms and tense consistency when describing past data, and reduce the frequency of fundamental grammatical mistakes.

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