Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph shows the information about the amount of employments in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Initially, there are different years shows in the horizontal line, while numbers of job mentioned in the vertical line. Coming to the point, in 1960, manufacturing has 15 millions of employment which was slightly increased to the 20 millions. Furthermore, in 1980 the value was gradually decreased to the 13 millions till 2020.

Moreover, the value of healthcare and retail was at 3 millions and 6 millions in 1960, which was gradually increased both of them and reached at 17 millions in 2020.

Eventually, in 1960 agriculture has 6 millions of value, which was slightly fall at 4 millions in 1980, and remains constant till 2000, but the value was dropped at 2 millions in 2020.

Overall, from the linegraph we can clear that, the agriculture, retail and healthcare has huge amount of changes from 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response falls just short of the 150-word minimum, containing 149 words (with 13 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count). The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, mentioning manufacturing, healthcare, retail, and agriculture. However, the task is addressed only partially because several data points are misread or confused, such as stating that manufacturing increased to 20 millions in 1980 (it peaked at 20 millions in 1980 from 15 in 1960) and claiming that healthcare and retail both reached 17 millions in 2020 (retail is around 16 and healthcare is 16). The overview merely states that there are changes rather than clearly highlighting the overarching trends. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is met and report the numerical data more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates some organisation with a discernible introduction and a concluding sentence, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, with the body paragraphs split by economic sectors, but the transitions between sentences feel mechanical and disjointed. For example, expressions like 'Coming to the point' and 'Eventually' are misused as cohesive devices, failing to guide the reader logically through the timeline. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as 'both of them' applied to healthcare and retail after mentioning three values in the previous sentence. To improve, the writer should use clearer logical sequencing and more natural cohesive devices to connect data points chronologically and structurally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common terms and sector-specific words such as 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', 'healthcare', and 'retail', but makes noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout, such as 'amount of employments' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'employment figures', and 'value' used repeatedly instead of 'number of jobs' or 'millions'. There are also awkward expressions like 'slightly fall at 4 millions' where 'fell to' or 'decreased to' would be appropriate. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range and use precise terms related to data reporting without repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and repetitive patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, such as 'the value of healthcare and retail was at 3 millions and 6 millions in 1960, which was gradually increased both of them and reached at 17 millions in 2020', which contains passive/active confusion and incorrect prepositions. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture has 6 millions of value, which was slightly fall'), incorrect prepositions ('at 4 millions' instead of 'to 4 millions'), and tense inconsistencies. To progress, the writer must focus on mastering basic sentence construction, verb forms, and accurate prepositions when describing statistical trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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