Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information of the number of jobs in various sectors of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare), in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing field experienced the highest propotion of jobs in the start, but after first decade it decreased dramatically. Healthcare sector, the number of jobs was in lowest figure which rapidly increase throughout the time. Agricultural sector decreased slightly then remained stable with minor fluctuations.
Firstly, in the manufacturing sector the proportion of jobs was highest, which goes upward from 1960-80, after this period it faces sharp decline throughout the time period. On the other side, jobs in healthcare centre was the lowest in figure, but within the time period, this sector experience dramatic increase, also stands at the highest ranking in 2020.
Furthermore, both retail and agriculture sector, stands at the same point in 1960, while jobs in retail experienced upward trend while agricultural sector decrease in 1980 after this remain stable with minor fluctuations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors from 1960 to 2020. An overview is attempted, capturing the major trends such as the drop in manufacturing and the rise in healthcare. However, some ideas are under-developed or inaccurately expressed. For example, stating that manufacturing experienced the highest proportion of jobs 'in the start' lacks precision, and the description of retail and agriculture contains minor confusions regarding specific points on the timeline. The main features are identified and some comparisons are made, but the lack of precise data points and occasional vague descriptions prevent a higher level of development.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, separating the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Information is logically grouped by sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, relying on basic transition markers like 'Firstly', 'On the other side', and 'Furthermore' rather than smoother transitions. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Healthcare sector, the number of jobs was in lowest figure', where the subject-verb structure breaks down the logical flow of ideas between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully covering the economic sectors and general directional trends like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'fluctuations'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary such as 'propotion' (spelled incorrectly as 'propotion'), 'dramatically', and 'decline', but these attempts are accompanied by occasional word-choice and spelling errors. Collocations are sometimes awkward, such as 'jobs in healthcare centre' instead of 'healthcare sector', and 'highest figure' instead of 'highest number'. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at relative clauses ('which goes upward', 'which experienced upward trend'). However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Issues include missing articles ('Healthcare sector, the number...', 'in retail experienced'), preposition errors ('in the start' instead of 'at the start'), and awkward subject-verb agreement or incomplete structures ('For healthcare sector, the number of jobs was in lowest figure'). Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to grasp the intended meaning.
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