Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graphs show the information the number of jobs in four sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare in the years of 1960 to 2020.
First of all Manufacturing show the jobs in 15 millions the year of 1960. And the decrise the 20 millions the year of 1980 or increse about 16.5 millions the year of 2000 and most increase about of 13 in the year of 2020.
Second sector the name of Retail show the jobs about 7millions and the decrise of 10 millions the yerar of 1980 or than most increase 15 millions the year of 2000 and the sum of increse about 12 mililion the year of 2020.
The third Agriculture show the jobs about 7 millions the year of 1960 and increase about 3 millions and the same postion the year of 2000. And more increse 2 million the year of 2020.
And the last sector the name of Healthcare show the jobs 2.5millions the year of 1960. and the decrise the 5 millions the year of 1980. And the year of 2000 show the jobs decrise thr 15 millions and last year 2020 show the 17 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response addresses the task only minimally, attempting to report data for four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the interpretation of the visual data is heavily distorted, confused, and inaccurate. For instance, the student states that Manufacturing was at "15 millions the year of 1960" and then claims it went to "the decrise the 20 millions the year of 1980", which incorrectly labels a rise as a decrease and misstates data points. Furthermore, key trends across the 60-year period are not clearly or correctly synthesised, and the overview is absent or entirely obscured by the disjointed listing of figures. Ideas remain very limited and under-developed, resulting in a minimal response to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some organisation in the text, as the writer attempts to break down the information sector by sector into separate paragraphs. However, there is no clear overall progression or cohesive structure guiding the reader through the global trends of the graph. Cohesive devices are largely absent, inadequate, or used inappropriately, such as repetitive transitions like "First of all", "Second sector", and "And the last sector". Paragraphing is attempted for each category, but the internal logical flow within sentences breaks down frequently due to disjointed clauses and poor referencing.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily constrained by the student's limited control of language. Words related to data trends are frequently misused or confused, such as substituting "decrise" (decrease) for increases, or using incorrect units and collocation patterns like "sum of increse about 12 mililion". Noticeable errors in spelling and word choice occur throughout the response, such as "postion" instead of position and awkward phrasing like "the name of Retail show the jobs". These lexical inaccuracies strain the reader and obscure the underlying meaning of the data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying on repetitive, faulty sentence frames to list data points. There is a complete lack of control over basic grammatical patterns, verb tenses, and prepositions inside structural phrases, evident in sentences like "Manufacturing show the jobs in 15 millions the year of 1960." Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, with widespread missing auxiliary verbs, incorrect prepositions, and improper article usage. Complex sentence attempts are virtually non-existent or completely ungrammatical, causing significant difficulty for the reader.
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