Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates about the number of openings in four different sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, highest rise was seen in Retail and Agriculture sectors, However, the great drop was in Manufacturing sector.
On the one hand, 1960 the highest financial system was in manufacturing field that was 15 million jobs, in year this value increases and reached to 20 million, but in 2020 its drop and reaches to 10-15 million. Whereas in Retail having few vacancies that 6 million in 1960, but in jump to 16-17 million in year 2020.
On the other hand, Agriculture was on good start for job openings that was 5-6 million, but in year 1980 it decrease from that the graph remane stable till 2020. However, Healthcare sector was very less job posts available in 1960, its graph rise in year 1980 and opens upto 5 million job vacancies and in 2020 the dramatically change obsereved value reaches to 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the main parts of the task by outlining data for the four sectors across the timeline, but some areas are under-developed or inaccurately reported. For instance, the overview incorrectly claims that the greatest rise was seen in 'Agriculture', whereas agriculture actually experienced a steady decline from 6 million to 2 million jobs. Additionally, data points are occasionally imprecise, such as stating that manufacturing dropped to '10-15 million' in 2020 when the graph indicates 13 million. While key features such as the peak of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail are mentioned, the lack of precision and the flawed overview prevent a higher score, placing it firmly at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement with a distinct introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs divided by sectors using transition markers like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, the cohesion feels somewhat mechanical and the logical progression is occasionally hindered by awkward referencing and phrasing, such as 'in year this value increases' and 'its drop and reaches'. Paragraphing is used to separate the categories, but internal transitions within sentences could be smoother. The structure provides a coherent framework overall, though the connections between ideas occasionally become disjointed due to phrasing issues.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that cause some difficulty for the reader. There are frequent word choice and collocation issues, such as writing 'great drop' instead of 'sharp drop', 'highest financial system' instead of 'highest number of jobs', and 'remane stable' instead of 'remained stable'. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, including 'obsereved'. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terms like 'Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Agriculture', and 'Healthcare', the restricted range of vocabulary and repetitive expressions like 'job openings' and 'vacancies' limit the lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple or poorly formed complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb tenses, missing auxiliary verbs, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'its drop and reaches', 'Retail having few vacancies that 6 million', and 'Healthcare sector was very less job posts available'. Attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to sentences that lack grammatical coherence and require the reader to work harder to understand the intended meaning. Punctuation is also basic and occasionally intrusive.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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