Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the proportion of some kind of various sectors, which indicates the number of jobs in millions. The economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

It is apparent graph figures that the manufacturing was increased after 2 decades it was fell gradually. On the other hand, health care increased sharply over the period. While retail rose slightly, on the flip side, agriculture declined moderately.

In 1960, Health care and retail figures were approximately 3 and 6 million jobs; agriculture remained stable; however, manufacturing led. After that, retail declined moderately and reached at 3 million jobs. Other sectors grew dramatically to 5, 10, and 20 million jobs in the year 1960.

In 2000, manufacturing fell and accounted for 16 million jobs. Retail was slightly down; it was marked at 15 million jobs. Whereas agriculture and healthcare were depicted as 3 and 11 million jobs, respectively. In 2020, retail and healthcare led at the top, and both were the same at 16 million jobs; moreover, manufacturing was reduced by nearly 13 million jobs. Agriculture went down slowly by two million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the key trends in the graph, mentioning manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture between 1960 and 2020. However, the task is addressed only partially because several data points and trends are misreported or confused. For instance, the student states that in 1960 healthcare and retail figures were approximately 3 and 6 million jobs, but the transcription and visual data show healthcare at 2 million and retail at 6 million, while agriculture was also 6 million. Furthermore, the overview sentence is confusing and fails to clearly outline the main overall trends. To move to a higher band, the response needs to present a clearer, more accurate summary of the main features and comparisons without factual inaccuracies in the data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation with paragraphs attempting to separate different time periods and sectors, but the overall progression lacks clarity and logical flow. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or awkward, such as 'on the other hand' and 'on the flip side' being used confusingly in the same context, and 'After that' or 'In 2000' introducing mixed information. Referencing between sentences is occasionally unclear, making it hard for the reader to follow which data belongs to which year. To achieve a higher score, the response needs a clearer logical structure and more precise, varied cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with frequent inappropriate word choices and imprecise terminology, such as 'proportion of some kind of various sectors' and 'it was fell gradually'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'manufacturing was increased'. While the student attempts less common vocabulary like 'dramatically' and 'moderately', inaccuracies occasionally cause strain for the reader. To improve lexical resource, the writer needs to use a wider and more precise range of vocabulary related to data trends and ensure correct collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, passive/active voice, and prepositions, such as 'manufacturing was increased', 'it was fell gradually', and 'reached at 3 million jobs'. Frequent errors in basic grammar and clause structures cause some difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher band, the student must demonstrate a better control of simple and complex sentence forms, accurate past tense verb forms for historical data, and correct prepositions when describing statistical figures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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