Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the figure of employments in four different sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the healthcare and retailing sectors accounted for the highest figure for employment, while the other two sectors had the lowest employment figure. However, the agriculture sector recorded the lowest figure of jobs throughout the period.

In 1960, 2 million people were employed in the healthcare sector, This figure rose to almost 5 million in 1980, and then increased sharply to approximately 11 million in 2000. After that, the figure continued to rise, reaching 16 million in 2020. However, the manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million employment rate in 1960, which further went up in 1980. After that, its figure declined dramatically throughout the period.

Conversely, the retailing and agriculture sector recorded the similar figure of employment in 1960. The figure in the retailing sector increased sharply to almost 15 million until 2000, and then showed similar pattern until 2020. Onthe other hand, the emplyment rate decreased slightly for the agriculture sector to almost 4 million in 1980, and then showed slightly decline until 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020 and making relevant comparisons. An overview is provided, noting that healthcare and retail saw high employment while the other two remained lower, and agriculture recorded the lowest numbers throughout the period. However, some aspects are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies compared to the visual data. For instance, the overview incorrectly states that retail and healthcare both accounted for the highest figures initially, whereas in 1960 healthcare was low and retail was moderate. Furthermore, details for manufacturing and agriculture contain slight descriptive gaps. To move to a higher band, the overview should more accurately reflect the overall trends, and all key data points should be reported without generalisation errors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors, which aids readability. Information and ideas are generally presented in a logical sequence, moving from general patterns to specific sectoral trends. However, cohesion at times feels a bit mechanical or faulty. For example, the transition "Conversely, the retailing and agriculture sector recorded the similar figure" in the final paragraph is slightly jarring because retail and agriculture actually followed very different trajectories. Referencing devices and transitional phrases like "After that" are also repetitive. To achieve a higher level, you should employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices while ensuring logical links between contrasting data points are managed smoothly and accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and trends such as "rose to almost," "increased sharply," and "declined dramatically." There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, though this is sometimes accompanied by awkward phrasing or word choice errors, such as "figure of employments" instead of figures for employment, and "employment rate" used to describe absolute numbers of jobs in millions. Additionally, there are minor typos like "Onthe other hand" and "emplyment rate" or "slightly decline" instead of slight decline. These inaccuracies do not impede communication, placing the response securely at this level. To improve further, focus on precise collocation and word forms, such as distinguishing between percentages/rates and absolute numbers of people or jobs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, using constructions such as time clauses ("In 1960, ...") and relative descriptions effectively. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include missing articles or pluralization issues, such as "the retailing and agriculture sector recorded the similar figure" (should be sectors and figures) and punctuation slips like a comma splice or stray comma before a new clause ("sector, This figure rose"). Preposition use and verb forms are generally controlled, but occasional slip-ups prevent higher-level accuracy. To progress, aim for greater control over subject-verb agreement when discussing plural compound subjects and ensure complex sentences are constructed with zero grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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