Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph compares the number of jobs available in four fields of the economy in the United State from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare show a significant increased over the time, whereas Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors experienced decline.

In 1960, the figure for manufacturing started at 15 million jobs and increased steadily to 20 millions, its highest point. It then experianced a gradual decline falling to 13 million by the final year. However, a significant increased can be seen in Healthcare sector, it started from around 2 million and increased gradually every year. 5 and 11 million in 1980 and 2000, respectively and in final year it reached at 16 million.

A similar pattern can be seen in Retail field, approximately 6 million in first year and increased up to 10 million and 15 million in 1980 and 2000, respectively and remained relatively stable in the final year, at 16 million. Although, Agriculture sector experienced gradual decline, the figure started from 6 million in 1960, around 4 million each in 1980 and 2000, and finally, 2 million in last year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting on all four economic sectors over the specified timeframe, satisfying the requirements for the lower band while showing glimpses of the higher band. You provide an adequate overview, correctly identifying the main trends that Retail and Healthcare grew while Manufacturing and Agriculture declined. Key data points are selected and included, such as Manufacturing starting at 15 million and peaking at 20 million, and Healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. However, some areas are slightly under-developed or lack extension; for example, the description of Healthcare and Retail relies heavily on listing statistics sequentially without fully expanding on their relative rates of growth or making deeper analytical comparisons between the rising and falling sectors. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that all trends are not only reported with numbers but also synthesized with clearer comparative commentary throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical structure. The writing is divided into a suitable introduction, an overview paragraph, and two detailed body paragraphs that logically group the sectors. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'respectively'. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition into the Healthcare sector ('it started from around 2 million and increased gradually every year. 5 and 11 million in 1980 and 2000, respectively and in final year it reached at 16 million') creates a run-on and fragmented sentence structure where referencing and punctuation break down. To improve cohesion further, ensure that every clause is grammatically connected and that referencing pronouns clearly link back to their intended subjects without causing confusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You display an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items related to data trends, such as 'gradually decline', 'remained relatively stable', and 'highest point'. Communication is generally clear despite some lexical and word-form errors. For example, you wrote 'significant increased' instead of 'significant increase', and used 'experianced' (spelling error) instead of 'experienced'. Furthermore, phrasing like 'reached at 16 million' shows minor collocational inaccuracy. These errors do not impede communication, placing your lexical control solidly at this level. To move to a higher band, focus on eliminating word-form slips, using correct grammatical forms of nouns and verbs, and incorporating a wider variety of sophisticated synonyms to describe numerical changes with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating your ability to construct compound statements like 'The line graph compares...'. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text. These include missing prepositions or articles ('in final year' instead of 'in the final year'), incorrect verb forms ('experianced'), and structural faults where sentences are awkwardly joined or punctuated, such as 'Healthcare sector, it started from around 2 million...'. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they occur regularly enough to prevent the writing from achieving a higher score. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage with time expressions, and the punctuation of complex clauses to ensure your sentences remain error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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