Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in thUS from 1960 to 2020.

overall employment in the health and retail sectors increase over time. whereas agriculture experienced a steady decline. manufacturing was the largest employer at the beginning and it reaches the highest in a980 after that it also experienced a decline.

In 1960 manfacturing accounts for almost 15 million jobs that increased over time and reaches its maximum in 1980. after 1980 manufacturing jobs also declined. whereas at the the start of 1960 retail jobs were only around 6 millions but with the passage of time it gradualy increased and by 2020 it reaches to 15 million.

Healthcare also experienced substantial growth throughout the period by the start of 1960 it was on 3 million and at the end of 2020 it also reaches to 15 million. whereas agriculture follows the opposite trend and it declined over time from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview of the main trends and reporting key data for the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, some ideas are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies in the data cited. For instance, the text mentions that retail reached 15 million by 2020 and healthcare also reached 15 million, but some figures at intermediate points contain minor typos or discrepancies, such as 'a980' and 'at the start of 1960 it was on 3 million' for healthcare (where it was closer to 2 million). To reach a higher band, the reporting of data points needs to be consistently accurate and fully elaborated with precise comparisons throughout the timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to group information logically into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs dedicated to specific sectors. Progression is generally evident as the writing moves from general trends to specific data points. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, relying on repetitive transitions like 'whereas' and basic chronological markers. Furthermore, paragraphing could be better managed, as the transition between the overview and body paragraphs lacks seamless connectivity. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as pronoun usage referring back to sector data. To achieve a higher score, the response would need to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure clearer logical links between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an acceptable range of economic and trend-related terms such as 'employment', 'sectors', 'steady decline', and 'substantial growth'. The student attempts less common vocabulary, but this is accompanied by some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling slips, such as 'manfacturing' instead of manufacturing, 'gradualy' instead of gradually, and awkward phrasing like 'it reaches the highest in a980'. These lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score. To improve this area, the writer should focus on expanding control over less common lexical items, improving spelling accuracy, and using precise collocations for describing data trends, such as 'peaked' instead of 'reaches the highest'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as subordinate clauses with 'whereas'. There are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing capitalisation at the beginning of sentences and in proper nouns ('the line graph', 'thUS', 'manfacturing'), comma splices, and tense inconsistencies (mixing past and present tenses like 'the line graph illustrate' and 'increase'). Despite these errors, meaning is rarely obscured, and simple sentences are generally well-controlled. To move to a higher band, the student must increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and maintain strict control over verb tenses when describing past statistical data.

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