Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE GIVEN GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE AMOUNT OF JOBS PRODUCED ACROSS FOUR SECTORS IN THE ECONOMY OF THE US WITHIN THE YEAR SPAN OF 1960 AND 2020.
OVERALL, HEALTHCARE JOBS, RETAIL JOBS AND MANUFACTURING JOBS SHOWED A DRAMATIC ALTERATIONS OVER THE TIME WHILE AGRICULTURE SHOWED A SMOOTH CHANGE IN JOBS AVAILABLE.
FIRSTLY, HEALTHCARE INCREASED DRASTICALLY AND REACHED TO 15 MILLION IN 2020 FROM 2 MILLION IN 1960. SIMILARLY, RETAIL JOBS PEAKED STEADILY AND REACHED 15 MILLION IN 2020 FROM 6 MILLION IN 1960. HEALTHCARE JOBS SHOWED A REGULAR SLASH FROM 6 MILLION IN 1960 TO 2 MILLION IN 2020 MAKING IT THE ONLY JOB TO FALL WITHIN THE TIME.
OTHER THAN THAT, MANUFACTURING JOBS SHOWED A DRAMATIC EFFECT. IT INCREASED SHARLY FROM 15 MILLION IN 1960 AND WAS AT IT'S APEX IN 1980, HOWEVER, IT CURTAILED SMOOTHLY AND REACHED MERE 13 MILLION IN 2020.
TO CONCLUDE, RETAIL AND HEALTH CARE JOBS INCREASED REGULARLY WITHOUT SHOWING ANY DOWNFALL WHILE ON THE FLIPSIDE, AGRICULTURE JOBS DECREASED SMOOTHLY. HOWEVER, BOTH QUALITIES WERE FOUND IN MANUFACTURING JOBS
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt only partially and contains notable inaccuracies and confusions regarding the data. For instance, the writer states that healthcare jobs 'showed a regular slash from 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020 making it the only job to fall within the time', which actually describes agriculture rather than healthcare. Healthcare and retail both experienced significant growth. While an overview is attempted, it is inaccurate or contradicts the visual data in places, such as claiming that manufacturing showed 'both qualities' at the end. To move to a higher band, the student must carefully read the data to ensure that trends and figures are attributed to the correct sectors without confusing categories like agriculture and healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has some organisation with basic paragraphing and sequencing devices such as 'OVERALL', 'FIRSTLY', and 'TO CONCLUDE'. However, there is no clear overall progression due to the factual confusion in the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately, and the referencing fails when the writer attributes trends to the wrong sectors (for example, confusing healthcare with agriculture). Paragraphing is present, but grouping related data more logically would greatly improve the structure. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to ensure that logical links connect accurately reported information and that referencing between sentences is entirely clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The lexical range is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic trends, utilizing words like 'dramatic', 'drastically', and 'curtailed'. However, there are noticeable vocabulary choices, errors, and confusions that cause difficulty for the reader, such as using 'slash' instead of drop or decline, and writing 'IT'S APEX' with a misused apostrophe. Other imprecise collocations appear, such as 'amount of jobs produced' instead of number of jobs. To reach a higher band, the student should expand their vocabulary for describing trends and graphs, and ensure accurate word choice and spelling without relying on informal or confusing terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writing uses a limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and basic complex attempts that frequently contain errors. Examples of structural and grammatical issues include 'REACHED TO 15 MILLION' (unnecessary preposition), 'SHOWED A DRAMATIC ALTERATIONS' (plural/article mismatch), and 'INCREASED SHARLY' (spelling/form error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing full stops or incorrect capitalization (writing the entire response in uppercase). To progress to a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate better control over complex sentence patterns, improve grammatical accuracy with prepositions and verb forms, and correct basic mechanical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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