Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the trends about the number of job in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in th United State from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare sector showed significant improvment in all over years. The number of jobs in manufacturing was at top in intial years after that it droped.
To commence, in manufacturing department number of jobs, it reached from15 million to 20 million, from 1960 to 1980, The trend of jobs in agriculture sector was continously dropped with upcoming years, it started from around 6 millions to around 2 million from 1960 t0 2020. Moreover, trend of jobs in healthcare increased from around 3 million to upto 16 million in all the years. Furthermore, the jobs ration in the retail sectore also steadily increased from 6 millions to 16 million, this is a point where healthcare and retail meet, in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors over the given timeframe. An overview is provided, noting the significant improvement in healthcare and the changing trajectory of manufacturing. However, some areas are under-developed or lack precision. For example, while the overall trend of manufacturing is mentioned, the specific peak in 1980 at 20 million is omitted from the main body, and some data points are generalised. The comparison showing healthcare and retail intersecting at 16 million in 2020 is effectively highlighted, satisfying the requirements for this level where the main trends are adequately outlined even if some details remain superficial.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure, beginning with an introduction and overview, followed by body details. Paragraphing is utilised, although the single large body paragraph could have been better broken down. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as "To commence", "Moreover", and "Furthermore", although some referencing is a bit mechanical or awkward, such as "this is a point where healthcare and retail meet". Progression is discernible as the essay moves systematically through the different sectors, though the transition between ideas sometimes lacks smoothness.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully communicating the basic trends and movements of the data. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items and sector-specific terms like "manufacturing", "retail", "agriculture", and "healthcare", alongside lexical chunks such as "steadily increased" and "continuously dropped". However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as "improvment", "intial", "droped", "department" instead of sector, and "jobs ration" instead of proportion or number of jobs. These errors do not seriously impede communication but restrict the score to this band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as relative clauses ("this is a point where...") and introductory prepositional phrases. There are, however, several grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the response, including missing articles ("in healthcare sector", "in retail sectore"), awkward prepositions ("in all over years"), run-on structures or comma splices, and number agreement problems ("around 6 millions"). While these errors are present, they do not completely obscure the meaning and the reader can generally follow the intended message, reflecting the characteristics of this level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.