Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depits changes employment in different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to next six decades.

Overall, There are four sectors which are related to Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare. Initially both retail and healthcare sectors having less number of jobs, eventually these both are at highest position in end. Remaining two which are manufacturing and agriculture sectors both are initially in top position at final these sectors are in least position.

In 1960, manufacturing employed approximately 15 million people, compared with around 6 million in retail and agriculture. Healthcare had a fewest jobs, at only about 2 million. Manufacturing the rose to over 20 million and falling gradually to 17 million in 2000 and approximately 13-14 million in 2020.

The number of jobs in retail increased stadily throughout the period. It rose from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980, and reaching 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in year 2020. Healthcare also followed dramatic increase from just 2 million jobs in beginning to 5 million in 1980. It rises from 5 to 12 million in 2000 and 16 miilion in 2020 which both retail and healthcare sectors are equal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends across the four sectors shown in the graph. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, capturing the main shifts successfully, such as the rise of retail and healthcare and the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, some details are slightly underdeveloped or imprecise, such as the treatment of the final year figures and some timeline descriptions. Main data points are generally accurate, matching the visual reference well, though the overall presentation of ideas sits comfortably at the level described for this score, balancing relevant reporting with some areas that could be more fully or clearly extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the essay into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs focusing on specific data. Information and ideas are generally organized in a logical sequence, moving from general trends to specific figures. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as in the abrupt transition within the overview ('Remaining two which are manufacturing and agriculture sectors both are initially in top position at final these sectors are in least position'). Referencing and referencing devices are occasionally unclear, and paragraphing could be managed more smoothly to enhance the overall progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

An adequate range of vocabulary is used for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms such as 'employed', 'increased', 'falling gradually', and 'dramatic increase'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and typos that detract from precision, such as 'depits' instead of 'depicts', 'having less number of jobs', 'a fewest jobs', and 'stadily' instead of 'steadily'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary, but these inaccuracies in spelling and word choice prevent the response from achieving a higher level, though communication is rarely impeded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like relative clauses and comparative constructions. There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with verb tense and form consistency ('Manufacturing the rose to', 'It rises from 5 to 12 million'), missing articles ('in beginning'), and awkward prepositional usage. While these errors are noticeable and require some re-reading, they do not severely impede communication, representing a typical mix of structures and control for this level.

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