Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph depicts the information regarding how many number of jobs in four sectors namely Manufacturing ,Retail , Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 .
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the number of jobs in Retail sectors in highest,whereas the number of jobs in Agriculture field is lowest in the given period of time .
In detail , the number of jobs in the Retail sector was 5 million in 1960 than it increased steadily and reached at 15 million till 2000 before displaying a stable trend in the last year [16 million ] whereas, the number of jobs in Manufacturing field was 15 million in 1960 it increase slowly to 20 million in 1980 , than it droppped sharply till 13 million at 2020.
Moving further , regarding Agriculture its figure followed a different pattern decreasing from 6million to 2 million over the same period . Mean while ,at the beging of the period the figure for Healthcare stood at 2 million in 1960 . than it rose to 5 million in 1980 between 1980 and 2020 there was a sharp increase in the Healthcare employment reaching 16 million .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors across the given period, satisfying the core requirements of the task. An overview is present, identifying the highest and lowest points overall, such as noting that retail and healthcare ended high while agriculture remained the lowest. However, some parts of the data presentation are under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the statement that 'the number of jobs in Retail sectors in highest' at the start of the period is inaccurate, as retail started at 6 million while manufacturing started at 15 million. Key trends are reported, but greater precision in selecting and comparing the main features would elevate this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical paragraph structure, dividing the introduction, overview, and specific body details effectively. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'In detail', and 'Moving further'. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty, seen in repetitive sentence openings and awkward transitions like 'than it increased steadily'. Referencing and logical progression between some sentences could be smoother to achieve a higher level of control.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms such as 'increased steadily', 'droppped sharply', and 'stable trend'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but these are accompanied by lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'how many number of jobs', 'in highest' instead of 'is the highest', and spelling or spacing issues like 'Retail ,Agriculture' and 'beging'. While these inaccuracies do not severely impede communication, they reflect a limited and developing lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting multi-clause structures to report trends over time. There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including tense and verb form inconsistencies ('it increase slowly', 'than it droppped', 'than it rose'), run-on clauses linked improperly with commas, and missing articles. Despite these errors, the meaning remains mostly clear and communication is rarely impeded, representing a typical performance for this level.
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