Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the comparison of amount of jobs available in the four sectors of the US economy from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, two sectors have experienced increase in the jobs ( healthcare and retail) while two sectors have suffered decrease in the jobs ( agriculture and manufacturing).

To begin with, two sectors have noticed a considerable increase in the amount of jobs and employment opportunities. The jobs in retail increased steadily from 5 million to 10 million from the year 1960 to year 1980 reaching the highest in year 2020.The jobs in healthcare increased consistently from 2 million in the year 1960 to more than 15 million by 2020.

On the other hand two sectors, suffered a decline in the amount of jobs. The jobs in manufacturing showed an irregular trend by increasing upto 20 million from 1960 to 1980 later declining to less than 15 million in 2020. The jobs in agriculture were more in the beginning then remained steady and then decreased to 2 million in 2020.

To conclude the two sectors had increased jobs over the years while two had decreased jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. You provided a clear overall summary at the beginning and end, noting which sectors grew and which declined. However, some of your details are under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies compared to the visual data. For instance, you stated that retail jobs reached their highest in 2020 after starting at 5 million, and that healthcare rose to more than 15 million by 2020, which are mostly accurate, but your description of the declining sectors lacks precise endpoint data. To reach a higher level, ensure all key data points, such as peak years and exact ending figures, are fully supported and extended with precise comparative statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the final summary. You used basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to structure your writing. However, the cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is not always completely clear. For example, the transition between discussing retail and healthcare could be smoother. To achieve a higher band, you should integrate cohesive devices more flexibly and use referencing words more naturally to link sentences without relying on formulaic transition phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrated an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'increase', 'decrease', and 'employment opportunities'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but these are occasionally accompanied by minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'comparison of amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', and some missing articles. The errors do not impede communication, and the reader has no difficulty understanding your points. To improve your lexical score, aim to incorporate more sophisticated and precise collocations and less common lexical items related to data trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating your ability to construct compound and multi-clause sentences, such as 'The jobs in manufacturing showed an irregular trend by increasing upto 20 million from 1960 to 1980 later declining to less than 15 million in 2020.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly missing articles ('an increase in the jobs', 'increase in amount of jobs') and minor punctuation omissions, but these errors rarely impede communication and do not obscure your meaning. To move higher, focus on eliminating basic grammatical slips and incorporating a wider variety of error-free complex structures.

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