Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overall, healthcare increased dramatically over the period and eventually exceeded manufacturing, while retail rose gradually at much slower rate. Moreover, manufacturing showed a significant decrease, whereas agrculture faced a slight downward trend.

In 1960, both retail and agriculture stood at approximately 6 million jobs. Retail then rose significant to 15 million in 2000. After that, it experienced a slight upward trend, peaking 16 million jobs in 2020. Moreover, agriculture fell to 3 million in 1980 and remained stable until 2000. After that, it suffered a decline to 2 million in 2020.

In contrast, manufacturing stayed at 15 million in 1960 and it went through upward to 20 million in 1980, while it reduced to 13 million in 2020. Additionally, healthcare was at approximately 2 million in 1960, then increased to 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response falls below the minimum word count of 150 words, reaching only 139 words, which impacts the overall completeness of the task. While the student attempts to cover all four economic sectors and provides a general overview, some parts of the task are only partially addressed. The overview mentions key trends such as healthcare's dramatic rise and manufacturing's decline, but some details lack full expansion. For instance, the discussion of retail and agriculture outlines the starting and ending points but misses deeper comparative analysis between sectors. To reach a higher level, the writer should ensure the word count requirement is fully met and extend the reporting of trends by drawing sharper contrasts across the given time period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the response logically into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific data. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical rather than fluid. The writer relies heavily on basic cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'After that', and 'In contrast' to link sentences, which can feel repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, but the lack of sophisticated transitions prevents the text from achieving a smoother flow. To improve, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of cohesive phrases and embed referencing more naturally to enhance the logical progression between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing sufficient coverage to describe the trends shown in the graph. The student makes successful attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'dramatically', 'gradually', and 'fluctuated', but there are noticeable lexical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'agrculture' instead of 'agriculture' and 'rose significant' instead of 'rose significantly'. Word choice and collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'it went through upward'. These inaccuracies do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the response from achieving a higher score. To improve, the student needs to pay closer attention to word forms, spelling, and precise collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using past tense verbs accurately for historical data. However, the range of structures remains somewhat limited, and attempts at complex sentences occasionally lead to errors, such as in the clause 'while it reduced to 13 million in 2020', where passive or intransitive usage is slightly off. There are also minor punctuation and phrasing lapses, such as missing prepositions or incorrect verb complements (e.g., 'peaking 16 million'). Overall, the grammar contains some errors, but they rarely impede communication. To progress, the writer should incorporate a greater variety of complex grammatical structures and ensure higher precision in verb forms and prepositional use.

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