Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
We have a normal line graph which is showing jobs in four different fields of the US market from [redacted phone].
Through out the years jobs in healthcare and retail are mostly co-related, in 2020 both sectors had 16 million jobs respectively. Industrial revolution in early 1960s created many jobs in manufacturing industry, and the numbers are enormous which was not touched by any other field. Agricultural field is quite restricted in terms of job opportunity because this job requires personal land ownership to perform better in the market.
Every job has its own importance in society but manufacturing field has seen great decline in recent years as automation is taking over this industry, factories are keep replacing ordinary workers with robots; creating higher unemployment in the domain.
Although some jobs have seen increase in demand but those who are mostly repetative work are replaced with AI in great numbers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response only partially addresses the prompt and fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, falling short at 149 words. While the writer attempts to summarize the graph, the content includes unsupported outside assumptions and speculations regarding automation, AI, and land ownership, rather than strictly reporting and comparing the visual data provided. The overview lacks a clear summary of overall trends, and data points are often described vaguely or inaccurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organization with an introductory sentence and body sections, but the response lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is weak, and cohesive devices are inadequate or misused. Phrases like 'Through out the years' and repetitive transitional structures result in mechanical cohesion, making the flow choppy and difficult to follow logically from one idea to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as 'co-related' instead of correlated, and 'repetative work' with a spelling error. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but inaccurate usage and reliance on informal phrasing restrict the effectiveness and lead to awkward expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response shows a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex forms are frequently faulty. There are multiple grammatical errors, including tense inconsistencies, missing or incorrect articles, and punctuation issues. Examples include 'Through out the years jobs in healthcare and retail are mostly co-related' and 'factories are keep replacing ordinary workers'. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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