Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The lines on graphs illustrates the difference between number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020 in US. It shows great fluctions of each sector in each year. They are comparing the highest number of jobs which sector have in each year. In 1960, manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs whereas 5 million for retail sector and less than 5 for health sector. In 1980, manufacturing sector rises upto 20 million but then it seems to fall in the years 2000 and 2020. Moreover, the agriculture sector seems to have jobs in 1980 and still contributing a small part in economy in 2020. In comparison, retail and health sector has been rising as the years were passing and seems to have more jobs. Boths sectors have nearly 15 million jobs in 2020 year contributing in a large scale of economy. Whereas, manufacturing shows a decline in nubmer of jobs as compared to jobs in 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially, attempting to present an overview and select main features from the graph. However, the data presentation lacks precision and misses key comparative details. For instance, the writer states that in 1960 the health sector had 'less than 5' jobs, whereas the graph indicates 2 million, and refers vaguely to agriculture having 'jobs in 1980' without properly reporting its starting or ending values. The overview is overly simplistic, claiming 'great fluctions' when sectors like healthcare and retail show clear, steady upward trends while agriculture declines. To move higher, the response needs a more accurate selection of data points, a clearer and more comprehensive overview of the overall trends, and better-supported comparisons across the four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text lacks clear overall progression and organization. It is presented as a single dense paragraph rather than structured logically with an introduction and distinct body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used repetitively and sometimes mechanically, such as starting multiple sentences with 'In 1960,' 'In 1980,' and 'Moreover,' which results in a disjointed reading experience. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'They are comparing the highest number of jobs which sector have in each year.' To improve cohesion and coherence, the response must be broken down into logical paragraphs, use a wider and more accurate variety of cohesive links, and ensure a smooth, progressive flow of ideas from the introduction to the final summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Spelling mistakes such as 'fluctions' instead of fluctuations and 'nubmer' instead of number detract from the quality of writing. Word choices are frequently basic or slightly unnatural, such as 'contributing in a large scale of economy' rather than 'contributing significantly to the economy' or 'boths sectors' instead of 'both sectors'. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider and more precise range of vocabulary related to data trends, improve control over word forms and collocations, and eliminate basic spelling slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic subject-verb patterns. Attempts at more complex structures often result in grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues in 'manufacturing sector has 15 million jobs' (past tense context) and 'retail and health sector has been rising' (plural subject with singular auxiliary verb). Errors also appear in prepositions and articles, such as 'in 2020 year' instead of 'in the year 2020' or 'in US' instead of 'in the US'. Frequent errors of this nature cause some difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer must demonstrate better control over tense consistency when describing past data, improve grammatical accuracy in complex clauses, and refine article and preposition usage.

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