Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the number of jobs(in millions) in different sectors- manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare- during the economy of US between [redacted phone].

Overall, The line graph gives an overview of how the job market fluctuated in different sectors hampering the US economy during those particular years. Interpreting the graph, we can see that the retail and healthcare sectors have a steady rise in their job markets throughout. Meanwhile, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors can be seen downgrading.

The retail sector despite starting at just over five million in 1960 has now become succesfull to provide jobs for millions and has reached its peak at over fifteen million in 2020. Likewise, Healthcare sector, which started at just around two million has maintained its steady rythm and is now in the same profile with retail reaching over fifteen million.

Manufacturing sector, on the other hand, started off steadily with approximately fifteen million in 1960, had increased by about five million in 1980, but since then has been dropping significantly thoughout the years,reaching below their starting measure in 2020. Agriculture sector, however, has maintained a steady drop with starting at above five million and has decreased slowly over the years reaching just below two million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response satisfies the requirements of a Band 6.5 by addressing all parts of the task and presenting a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identify the key features, noting the upward trajectory of retail and healthcare alongside the downward trends in manufacturing and agriculture. You also incorporate key data points to support your descriptions. However, the response sits below the next level because some parts of your analysis are slightly imprecise or under-developed. For instance, your overview introduces extraneous commentary by claiming the fluctuations were "hampering the US economy," which is an unsupported assumption rather than a direct report of the visual data. Furthermore, while you mention general figures, a more rigorous comparison of the starting and ending points across all four sectors would elevate the task response to a higher level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your writing demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement that allows the reader to follow your progression from the introduction through to the body paragraphs, which earns a solid Band 6.5. You make effective use of paragraphing to separate the increasing sectors from the declining ones, and you employ transitional markers such as "Meanwhile," "Likewise," and "on the other hand" to connect your ideas. To reach the next band, you need to refine how you use cohesive devices and referencing. Some of your links feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and minor structural awkwardnesses in your opening sentence—such as integrating the list of sectors directly into the subject clause—disrupt the natural flow of information. Ensuring that pronouns and referencing words point back unmistakably to their antecedents will also improve overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, achieving a Band 5.5. You demonstrate an acceptable range of general and sector-specific terms, such as "manufacturing," "retail," "agriculture," and "healthcare," and you attempt some less common expressions like "fluctuated" and "steady rise." However, the lexical range is constrained by frequent inaccuracies in word choice, word form, and collocation. For example, writing that the retail sector "has now become succesfull to provide jobs" contains a spelling error and awkward phrasing. Similarly, phrases like "maintains its steady rythm" and "in the same profile with retail" are unnatural collocations that do not sound like standard English. Improving your precision and mastering standard word partnerships will help you progress significantly in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including participial clauses and comparative structures, which is characteristic of a Band 5.5. While many of your basic sentences are clear and understandable, your attempts at more complex grammatical forms often contain errors. Noticeable issues include awkward prepositional phrases and article omissions, such as "during the economy of US" instead of "in the US economy," and "Healthcare sector" without a definite article. You also make agreement and tense errors, such as stating that the retail sector "have a steady rise" or describing historical trends with mixed verb tenses like "has now become... and has reached." To achieve a higher band, you need to increase your control over complex sentence patterns and significantly reduce grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.