Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph represents data about the number of employment in four different secto rs of the economy in country US between years 1960 and 2020.

Overall manufacturing job was the heighest but it declined dramatically where healthcare job sector is all time lowest among all.

manufacturing job was leading till year 2000 with 20 million but it starts to decline from year 1980 and reached below 15 million making it third top sector among 4.Healthcare sector on other hand is the lowest of all time and it remains loweset on year 1960 employement was above 5 million but in 2020 it became around 0.25 million.

Meanwhile retail job is one of the blooming sector started to rise from above 5 million and by 2000 reached 15 million and by 2020 rise to above 15 becaming one of the top sector for employment furthermore agriculture sector is the most demanding seector of all time rose from below 5 million to above 15 million with continouse rise in demand in country US,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to address the task by describing parts of the graph, but it contains major factual errors and misinterpretations of the visual data. For instance, the student claims that the healthcare sector is 'all time lowest among all' and near zero, whereas the chart clearly shows agriculture as the lowest sector and healthcare rising significantly to 16 million by 2020. Furthermore, agriculture is incorrectly described as 'the most demanding sector of all time', contradicting the downward trend visible for that sector. These severe inaccuracies mean the response only partially addresses the prompt and fails to present an accurate overview or properly report the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response lacks clear overall progression and logical organisation. The text is divided into paragraphs, but ideas within them are joined haphazardly with run-on sentences and basic connectors such as 'meanwhile' and 'furthermore'. The referencing is frequently confusing, and the lack of proper punctuation causes the whole text to read as a single dense stream of thought, making the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Paragraphing is not used effectively to separate different trends or sectors clearly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and contains frequent errors in word choice and spelling that impede communication. Examples include 'secto rs', 'heighest', 'loweset', 'employement', 'becaming', and 'seector'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'blooming' and 'demanding', but these are used inaccurately to describe the data, reflecting a lack of precision and appropriate style for an academic task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There is a lack of control over basic structures, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement, as seen in phrases like 'manufacturing job was leading... but it starts to decline' and 'retail job is one of the blooming sector'. Punctuation is almost entirely absent, resulting in comma splices and run-on sentences that cause significant difficulty for the reader.

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