Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the job opportunitties in four econnomy categories in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the health sector has the highest ratio in the employment field as compared to reatail sector. while, in the healthcare the value was rose then continusely stable.

In 1960, it is clearly observed that the numerous job in healthcare was above from 0% after that it rose up in 1980 nearly 4%. moreover it sharply increased in 2000 at 10% and reached at 15% in 2020. similarly the agriculture value was 5% in 1960 the figure decreased in 1980 at less than from 5% the percentage decreased

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response only partially addresses the task requirements. First, the length falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 115 words. Furthermore, the selection and reporting of main features is inadequate and heavily confused. The student misinterprets the data entirely, incorrectly using percentage signs instead of millions for job figures (e.g., describing numbers as percentages like 'nearly 4%' and 'at 15%'). The overview is vague and factually incorrect, claiming that the health sector has the highest ratio while simultaneously stating the values were unstable or rose and then remained stable, which contradicts the graph's clear upward trend for healthcare and downward trend for manufacturing and agriculture.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates some organization, but lacks a clear overall progression. The writing is broken into very short, poorly structured paragraphs, and the final paragraph cuts off abruptly without completing the description of the trends. Cohesive devices are used minimally and repetitively, with basic connectors like 'after that' and 'moreover'. Paragraphing is inadequate, as the body of the text is fragmented, and referencing between ideas is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical development of the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and basic. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'opportunitties', 'econnomy', 'reatail', and 'continusely'. Word choice and collocations are also frequently inaccurate, such as using 'econnomy categories' instead of 'economic sectors' or 'employment fields'. The vocabulary used is repetitive and lacks the precision and flexibility required to describe statistical data effectively, resulting in noticeable errors that cause difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures are faulty or missing altogether. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'the value was rose then continusely stable' and 'the numerous job in healthcare was above from 0%'. Punctuation is also poor, with missing capital letters and periods leading to run-on thoughts or fragmented sentences. These frequent errors disrupt the flow and cause difficulty for the reader.

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