Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about job opportunities in four economic sectors, namely Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2000

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the health sector has the highest ratio in the employment field as compared to retail sector, while in the healthcare the value increased than remained stable.

In 1960, it is clearly observed that the number of jobs in healthcare was above 0% After that it rose in 1980 nearly 4%. Moreover it sharply increased in 2000 at 10% and reached at 15% in 2020. Similarly the agriculture value was 5% in 1960 the figure decreased to in 1980 less than from 5% the percentage decreased in 2020 at 15%.

On the other hand, in 2020 the employement in the retail sector started from 5% and it experienced a substaincial growth it was nearly 10% in 1980 then it face a sligh fluctuation in 2000 at 15% then climed progressively. the manufacturing sharply rose and then decreased 20% to 15% throughtout the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing information from the line graph, but it does so only partially due to significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that healthcare 'reached at 15% in 2020' (when it was actually 16 million jobs) and refers to percentages rather than millions of jobs throughout the text. The overview is confused, containing inaccurate trends such as claiming healthcare 'increased than remained stable'. Furthermore, the data for agriculture and retail are misreported or difficult to follow because of imprecise numbers and confused comparisons. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to accurately report key features and figures directly from the visual data without introducing erroneous units or misinterpreting the main trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation in the response, with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs attempting to separate the sectors. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the sequencing of information is frequently confusing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the abrupt transitions ('After that', 'Similarly', 'On the other hand') which fail to logically connect the ideas. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs breaks down because referencing is not always clear and sentences feel disjointed. To improve, the writer should ensure that ideas follow a logical sequence, use cohesive devices more naturally to link related points, and maintain a clear structural progression throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, containing noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'substaincial growth', 'fluctuation', and 'progressively', but these are marred by spelling mistakes ('substaincial' instead of substantial, 'employement') and awkward word choices ('sligh fluctuation'). Additionally, using 'ratio' and percentage symbols inappropriately for absolute numbers demonstrates a restricted lexical control. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, ensure correct word forms and spelling, and use terms specifically suited to describing statistical data accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic clauses where attempts at complex forms often become faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader, including missing prepositions, incorrect verb tenses, and run-on sentences with poor punctuation (e.g., missing periods between independent clauses). Examples include 'the value increased than remained stable', 'reached at 15%', and 'the percentage decreased in 2020 at 15%'. To progress, the writer should work on constructing accurate simple and complex sentences, improving control over prepositions used with data, and ensuring correct punctuation to make the writing easier to follow.

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