Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph illustrates the details about number of employment in four sectors of economy in United States from 1960 to 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that employment rate in healthcare had consistent increased while, manufacturing and agriculture experienced a long term decline in jobs.
To begin with manufacturing, there were 15 millions jobs in 1960 which had significantly rised to 20 millions in 1980. The employment rate in manufacturing were began to decrase rapidly approximately 13 millions by 2020. Likewise, jobs in agriculture stands on 6 millions in 1960 which sharply fall to 3 millions in 1980. Then minimally decline to 2 millions in 2020.
In contrast, employment in healthcare had the lowest point of 2 millions in 1960 which had slightly rose to 5 millions in 1980. And had marginally go-up to 16 millions by 2020. Similarly, in retail which at 6 millions in 1960 significantly boost to 15 millions in 2000 and then gradually incline to 16 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing an overview and selecting the main trends for all four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. Key features such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the steady rise in healthcare are correctly highlighted with supporting data from the chart. The overview clearly outlines the overall trajectories, showing a good grasp of the visual data. However, some minor details are slightly underdeveloped or contain slight inaccuracies in data reporting, such as the peak year for retail, which prevents the response from reaching the highest bands. Overall, the content is relevant, accurate, and provides a clear summary of the main features.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The report demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the overview. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different sectors, with the introduction and overview placed logically at the beginning. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Similarly' are employed to guide the reader through the data. However, some cohesive links feel a bit mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally slightly clunky, which keeps the response within the current band. To achieve higher bands, the flow between sentences could be made smoother and more natural with a wider variety of cohesive structures.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items related to trends such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'boost', and 'incline'. However, there are noticeable word choice and word form errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as 'number of employment' instead of 'employment numbers', 'rised' instead of 'rose', and 'decrase' instead of 'decrease'. Spelling and morphological inaccuracies like 'go-up' appear throughout the text. While these do not heavily impede overall communication, they demonstrate limited precision in lexical control, reflecting the characteristics of this specific band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures to report data over time. There is good control over basic sentence construction, but frequent grammatical errors occur in verb tenses, articles, and prepositional usage. Examples include 'employment rate in manufacturing were began to decrase', 'stands on 6 millions', and missing articles before economic sectors. Despite these errors, the meaning remains mostly clear and they rarely impede general communication. To move up to a higher band, the student needs to produce a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over verb forms and subject-verb agreement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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