Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Thi line graph demostrates that the numbe of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US over the period of 1960 to 2020. Overall, health experienced a dramatic rise and finshed as the higher number of jobs, whereas retail also showed a clear rise. By contrast, manufacturing show a small rise in 1980, then it show a downward trend. Last but not the least, agriculter illustrates a early rise then it shows a downfall. At the begnining of the period, healthcase has the least number of jobs but it shows a very shocking rise from approximately 2 millions 1960, which climbed to 16 millions in 2020. Additionally, retails also shows a very good rise trend after healthcare from 6 million to 16 million. However, manufacturing shows a 5 millions job rise in 1980 after that it's number of jobs decreasedto 13 millions. Lastly, agriculture illustrates a slight downfall from 6 millions to 2 millions during this period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview and reporting the main features and trends of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. Key data points are generally accurate, such as healthcare rising to 16 million and agriculture falling to 2 million. However, some areas are under-developed or lack precision. For instance, the opening sentence is a fragment ('Thi line graph demostrates that...'), and certain trends are described with vague or repetitive phrasing without fully extending the comparisons between sectors. To reach a higher level, the response needs a more polished overview and a sharper, more fully supported synthesis of the key data contrasts across the entire timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a visible attempt at paragraphing, separating the introduction, overview, and body details. Information is generally presented in a logical order, moving from a general summary to specific sectoral developments. However, cohesion is at times mechanical and faulty. Phrases like 'Last but not the least' feel informal and awkward for an academic task, and referencing or transitions between sentences can be abrupt. To improve, you should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly and ensure that paragraph transitions guide the reader effortlessly through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the basic information, attempting less common terms such as 'downfall' and 'downward trend'. However, lexical control is limited by several noticeable errors in spelling, word choice, and word formation. Examples include spelling mistakes like 'demostrates', 'numbe', 'begnining', 'healthcase', and 'agriculter', as well as awkward lexical choices such as 'finshied as the higher number of jobs' instead of 'finished with the highest number of jobs'. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your range of precise vocabulary, improve collocation control, and eliminate spelling errors that distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ability to structure sentences around the data. However, there are persistent errors in grammar, verb forms, and articles throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues and tense confusion ('manufacturing show a small rise', 'then it show a downward trend', 'retails also shows'), missing articles ('health experienced'), and prepositional inaccuracies ('at the begnining of the period, healthcase has...'). These errors are frequent enough to remind the reader of a restricted structural control, though they rarely impede overall communication. Incorporating more error-free complex structures and checking basic tense consistency will lift this score.

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