Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The garaph compares the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 .

It is clear that the proportion of the jobs in four sectors of the economy has been increased and decreased also . Overall Heathcare and Retail increased in comparison with manufacturing and agriculture . Retail number os jobs went up much faster .

In 1960, the proportion of jobs in Manufacturing was 15 mililions. The figures for Retail , Agriculture , heathcare were lower, at about 6 milions , 6 milions and 2 milions respectively .

In 1980 the number of jobs in Manufacturing rose to around 20 milions . While the figures for Retail in 2000 reached just over 15 milions .

By 1980 the number of jobs in Manufactuing was highest . Almost 20 Milions of jobs were in Manufacturing sectors , Compa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and cuts off mid-sentence, failing to reach the minimum word count requirement of 150 words by 21 words. Furthermore, the content fails to fully present a comprehensive overview or accurately report the key features and comparisons required by the prompt. While the student attempts to highlight general trends in the US economy sectors, the selection of data points is erratic and incomplete. For example, data for the year 2000 for Retail is improperly contextualized and disjointed. To achieve a higher band, the response must meet the length requirement, provide a clearer overall trend summary without repetitive or vague statements, and cover all four economic sectors systematically across the given timeframe with accurate data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the response. The text is disjointed, featuring very short, fragmented paragraphs and abrupt transitions that hinder the logical flow. Sentences such as 'It is clear that the proportion of the jobs in four sectors of the economy has been increased and decreased also' demonstrate a weak organizational structure. Additionally, referencing and logical progression are lacking, as the paragraphs do not build a clear comparative narrative about the economic sectors. To improve, the student should group related data into well-structured paragraphs, use a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to link ideas, and ensure a clear, logical progression from the introduction to the overview and body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which strains the reader's comprehension at times. There are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'garaph' instead of graph, 'Heathcare' instead of Healthcare, and repeated misspellings of 'milions'. The student also misspells 'Manufactuing' and makes repetitive use of basic terms like 'number of jobs'. While there is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary related to economic sectors, the limited range and frequent mechanical errors restrict the lexical score. To move up to a higher band, the student needs to expand their vocabulary range, incorporate less common lexical items accurately, and carefully proofread their writing to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex structures that contain frequent errors. There are issues with verb tenses and forms, such as 'has been increased and decreased also', and faulty prepositional or structural patterns. Punctuation errors are also present, including unnecessary spaces before punctuation marks. Because the text cuts off mid-sentence ('...compa'), it leaves complex structures incomplete and distorts the intended meaning. To improve, the student must practice constructing a wider variety of accurate complex sentences, maintain consistent and correct past tense forms when describing historical data, and ensure that sentences are fully completed rather than abruptly ending.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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