Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is also noticeable that the Healthcare jobs have significantly increased, reaching their peak number, followed by the retail sector. while Agriculture sector jobs demand have fell steadily, reaching their lowest number. Manufacturing sector Decreased gradually after reaching their peak.

Manufacturing sector reached a peak of 20 million in 1980 starting from 15 million in 1960 then It gradually declined to around 12 million by 2020 Whereas Retail sector rose from 6 million in 1960 to its highest number of 15 million in 2020.

Agriculture and Healthcare sectors have seen an opposite demand between 1960 and 2020. Agriculture sector jobs gradually declined from 6 million in 1960 to 1 million in 2020. In contrast, Healthcare sector has climbed to its peak of 15 million in 2020, starting from 2 million in 1960.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response is slightly under the word count requirement, with 142 words written instead of the required minimum of 150 words. The student addresses the task partially by presenting an overview and reporting on some key features of the graph, such as the trends for Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the data provided contains inaccuracies, such as stating that the Agricultural sector fell to 1 million in 2020 when the graph shows it at approximately 2 million. Furthermore, some ideas in the overview lack full development, and the comparison of sectors is sometimes simplistic. To reach a higher band, all figures should be accurately reported from the source material and the overview should be more comprehensively supported by data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has some organisation with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing specific sectors, but it lacks a clear overall progression throughout. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as starting multiple sentences and clauses with transitional phrases like 'Overall, it is also noticeable' and 'Whereas'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information is occasionally disjointed, separating related comparisons across different paragraphs. Referencing is also weak in places, such as using pronouns with unclear antecedents ('reaching their peak'). To improve, the writer needs to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and a more logical arrangement of information that connects related trends together seamlessly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common lexical items such as 'significantly increased', 'declined steadily', and 'opposite demand'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors that impact precision, such as 'jobs demand have fell' instead of 'job demand fell', and 'climbed to its peak' when describing an upward trajectory that meets another sector's level. There are also issues with word form ('Decreased' capitalised mid-sentence). To achieve a higher score, the student should expand their range of vocabulary for describing trends and ensure greater accuracy in word choice and phrasing to convey precise statistical changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms, many of which contain errors. There are frequent grammatical mistakes, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'Healthcare jobs have significantly increased... reaching their peak number' followed by 'while Agriculture sector jobs demand have fell', incorrect prepositions ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), and missing articles. Punctuation errors are also present, such as comma splices and incorrect capitalization in the middle of sentences ('Manufacturing sector Decreased gradually'). To progress, the writer must reduce the frequency of basic errors and incorporate a wider variety of error-free complex grammatical structures.

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